MORALITY AND ISLAM
The Prophet’s Methods
for Correcting People’s Mistakes
Al-Asaaleeb al-Nabawiyyah
Book by Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Contents
Points to be noted when dealing with mistakes
The Prophet’s methods of dealing with people’s mistakes
13 - Guiding people to that which will prevent them from making mistakes
Abu Umaamah ibn Sahl ibn Haneef reported that his father told him that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) went out, and they travelled with him in the direction of Makkah, until they reached the ravine of al-Khazzaar near al-Juhfah. Sahl ibn Haneef did ghusl, and he was a white man with a handsome body and beautiful skin. ‘Aamir ibn Rabee’ah, the brother of Banu ‘Adiyy ibn Ka’b looked at him whilst he was doing ghusl and said, ‘I have never seen anything like what I have seen today, not even the skin of the virgin who is hidden away!’ [referring to the whiteness of his skin]. Sahl fell to the ground (he had an epileptic fit). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and it was said to him, ‘Do you want to see Sahl? By Allaah, he cannot raise his head or wake up.’ He asked, ‘Whose fault is this?’ They said, ‘ ‘Aamir ibn Rabee’ah looked at him.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) called ‘Aamir and rebuked him angrily, and said, ‘Why would any one of you kill his brother? If any one of you sees that his brother has something he likes, let him pray for blessing for him.’ Then he said to him, ‘Wash yourself to help him’. So he washed his face, his hands up to the elbows, his knees, the sides of his feet and inside his izaar (lower garment) in a vessel. Then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Pour that water over him.’ So he poured the water over his head and back from behind, tilting the vessel, and Sahl went with the people and there was nothing wrong with him.” (Al-Musnad, 3/486. Al-Haythami said, the men of Ahmad are the men of saheeh. Al-Majma’, 5/107)
According to a report narrated by Maalik (may Allaah have mercy on him), Muhammad ibn Abi Umaamah ibn Sahl ibn Haneef said that he heard his father saying: “Abu Sahl ibn Haneef did ghusl in al-Kharraar and took off the garment he was wearing. ‘Aamir ibn Rabee’ah was looking at him, and Sahl was a white man with beautiful skin. ‘Aamir ibn Rabee’ah said to him, ‘I have never seen anything like what I have seen today, not even the skin of the virgin!’. Sahl fell ill on the spot and became seriously ill. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came and was told, ‘Sahl has fallen ill, and cannot go with you, O Messenger of Allaah.’ Sahl told him what had happened with ‘Aamir, and the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Why would any one of you kill his brother? You should have asked for blessing for him. The (evil) eye is real. Do wudoo’ to help him.” So ‘Aamir did wudoo’, and Sahl went with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and there was nothing wrong with him. (Al-Muwatta’, hadeeth no. 1972).
What we learn from this story is:
The teacher (i.e., the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)) got angry with the one who caused harm to his Muslim brother.
He explained the harmful effects of the mistake and that it could lead to death.
He pointed the way to that which would prevent harm befalling a Muslim.
14 - Not confronting people directly with their mistakes and addressing the issue in general terms may be sufficient
Anas ibn Maalik said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘What is the matter with some people who raise their gaze to the heavens whilst they are praying?’ He spoke so harshly about them that he said, ‘They should stop doing that, or else Allaah will take away their sight.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, hadeeth no. 750).
When ‘Aa’ishah wanted to buy a slave-woman whose name was Bareerah, her owners refused to sell her except with the condition that she would still be connected to them. When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) found out about this, he stood up to address the people, praised and thanked Allaah, then said, “What is wrong with men who impose conditions which are not mentioned in the Book of Allaah? There is no condition that is not mentioned in the Book of Allaah but it is invalid, even if there were one hundred such conditions. The decree of Allaah is more true, the conditions laid down by Allaah are more binding, and wala’ (connection, loyalty, allegiance) is to the one who sets the slave free.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him) in numerous places in his Saheeh. See Fath, 5636).
‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did something and made it permissible, but some people felt that they were above doing that. News of this reached the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), so he addressed the people. He praised and thanked Allaah, then he said, ‘What is the matter with people who think themselves above doing the things that I do? By Allaah, I know more about Allaah than they do, and I fear Him more than they do.’” (Fath, 6101).
Abu Hurayrah reported that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw sputum in the qiblah of the mosque, so he turned to the people and said, “What is wrong with one of you that he stands facing his Lord and spits in front of Him? Would any of you like someone to face him and spit in his face? If any one of you wants to spit, let him spit towards his left, under his feet, and if he cannot do this, let him do this” – and al-Qaasim described how he spat on his garment and rubbed one part of it against another part. (Saheeh Muslim, no. 550).
Al-Nisaa'i reported in his Sunan that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) prayed Salaat al-Subh and recited Soorat al-Room, but got mixed up in his recitation. When he had finished praying, he said, “What is the matter with people who pray with us but do not purify themselves properly? Such people are the ones who make us get mixed up when we recite Qur’aan.” (Sunan al-Nisaa'i, al-Mujtabaa, 2/156. Its men are thiqaat, but al-Haafiz said about ‘Abd al-Malik ibn ‘Umayr that he was thiqah but his memory changed and he may have fabricated reports).
Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him) reported that Abu Rawh al-Kalaa’i said: “The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) led us in prayer and recited Soorat al-Room, but he got mixed up in part of the recitation. He said, ‘The Shaytaan made us get mixed up in our recitation, because of some people who come to the prayer without wudoo’. When you come to pray, do wudoo’ properly.’”
He also reported from Shu’bah from ‘Abd al-Malik ibn ‘Umayr, who said: “I heard Shabeeb Abu Rawh narrating from a man from among the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) who said that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) prayed Salaat al-Subh and recited Soorat al-Room, and got mixed up, and he narrated (the same hadeeth).” (It was also reported from Zaa’idah and Sufyaan from ‘Abd al-Malik. Al-Musnad, 3/473).
There are many examples, all of which indicate that the identity of the person who has made the mistake need not be exposed. This indirect approach and avoiding a direct confrontation has a number of benefits, including the following:
It avoids a negative reaction on the part of the person who has made the mistake, and prevents him from being tempted by the Shaytaan to avenge himself or defend himself.
It is more acceptable to people and is more effective.
It conceals the person’s mistake in front of other people.
It increases the status of the educator and makes the advisor more beloved.
It must be pointed out that this method of using hints to convey a ruling to a person who has made a mistake, without exposing him and causing him embarrassment, is only to be used when what he has done is not known to the majority of people. If most of the people do know what he has done, and he knows that they know, then this method would be more in the nature of a rebuke and scolding, and exposing him in the most hurtful manner. The one who has made a mistake would most likely rather be confronted directly than be dealt with in this manner. Among the factors that can make a difference are: who is giving the advice, in the presence of whom the advice is being given, and whether the advice is given in a provocative and aggressive manner, or in a kindly and gentle manner.
Indirect methods of teaching people may be of benefit to the one who has made the mistake and to others, if they are used wisely.
15 - Provoking public opinion against the one who has made the mistake
This method is only to be used in very limited circumstances, when a great deal of thought has been given to the matter, to avoid any negative escalation of the situation. There follows an example of how the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used this method:
Abu Hurayrah said: “A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and complained to him about his neighbour. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Go and put up with him.’ The man came back two or three times, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Go and put your belongings out in the street.’ So he went and put his belongings out in the street. People started to ask him what was going on, so he told them, and the people started to curse (the neighbour), saying, ‘May Allaah do such-and-such to him.’ Then the neighbour came to him and said, ‘Put your stuff back, you will not see anything else from me that you dislike.’” (Reported by Abu Dawood, Kitaab al-Adab, Baab fi Haqq al-Jiwaar, no. 5153; Saheeh Abi Dawood, 4292).
This method has an opposite counterpart which is used in other circumstances to protect people from the public’s harm, as will be explained below:
16 - Avoiding helping the Shaytaan against the one who is making a mistake
‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab reported that at the time of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), there was a man called ‘Abd-Allaah whose nickname was Himaar (donkey), who used to make the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) laugh. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had him whipped for drinking – he was brought to him one day and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave orders that he should be whipped. One of the men present said, “O Allaah, curse him! How often has he been brought [to be punished because of drinking]!” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Do not curse him, for by Allaah, all I know of him is that he loves Allaah and His Messenger.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 6780).
Abu Hurayrah said: “A drunkard was brought to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and he ordered that he should be beaten, so some of us hit him with our hands, others with shoes and garments. When he went away, a man said, ‘May Allaah put him to shame!’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Do not be a help to the Shaytaan against your brother.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 6781).
Abu Hurayrah also said: “A man who had been drinking was brought to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and he said, ‘Beat him.’ Some of us hit him with our hands, others with shoes and clothes. When he went away, some of the people said, ‘May Allaah put you to shame!’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Do not speak like this. Do not help the Shaytaan against him.’” (Al-Bukhaari, Fath, 6777)
According to another report: “Then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said to his Companions, ‘Rebuke him.’ So they turned to him and said, ‘You did not think of Allaah, you did not fear Allaah, you did not feel ashamed before the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him).’ Then they let him go, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Say, “O Allaah, forgive him, O Allaah, have mercy on him”’ and some of them added similar sentiments.” (Abu Dawood, Kitaab al-Hudood, Baab al-Hadd fi’l-Khamr, no. 4478, 4/620. Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh Abi Dawood, no. 3759).
According to another report: “When he went away, some of the people said, ‘May Allaah put you to shame!’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Do not speak like this, do not help the Shaytaan against him. Say “May Allaah have mercy on you.”’” (Reported by Ahmad, 2/300. Ahmad Shaakir said, its isnaad is saheeh. Al-Musnad, ed. by Ahmad Shaakir, no. 7973).
What we learn from all of these reports is that if the Muslim falls into sin, he is still basically a Muslim and still basically loves Allaah and His Messenger, and this should not be denied. It is not permitted to pray against him in a manner that helps the Shaytaan against him; rather we should pray for him and ask Allaah to guide him, forgive him and have mercy on him.
17 - Asking the person to stop doing the wrong action
It is very important to make the person stop the wrong deed so that it does not get any worse and so that there is no delay in the denunciation of evil.
‘Umar reported that he said, “No, by my father.” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Stop! Whoever swears by something other than Allaah, is guilty of shirk.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 1/47. Ahmad Shaakir said, its isnaad is saheeh. No. 329)
Abu Dawood reported in his Sunan that ‘Abd-Allaah ibn Busr (may Allaah be pleased with him) said, “A man came stepping over the necks on the people (in the mosque) one Friday, whilst the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was delivering the khutbah. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Sit down! You are causing a disturbance.’”
Al-Tirmidhi reported that Ibn ‘Umar said: “A man burped in the presence of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). He said, ‘Keep your burps away from us! The ones who fill their stomachs most in this world, will be the ones who remain hungry longest on the Day of Resurrection. (Abu ‘Eesa said, this is a ghareeb hasan hadeeth with this isnaad. Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 2478; al-Silsilat al-Saheehah, no. 343.)
These ahaadeeth show a direct request to the person who is making the mistake to stop what he is doing.
18 - Explaining to the person who is making a mistake how to put things right
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did this in a number of ways, including the following:
- Drawing an individual’s attention to his mistake so that he could put it right himself.
An example of this is the report narrated by Abu Sa’eed al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him), who said that he was with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), and “the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) entered and saw a man sitting in the middle of the mosque, clasping his fingers together and talking to himself. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gestured towards him, but he did not notice. So he turned to Abu Sa’eed and said, ‘If one of you is praying, he should not clasp his fingers together, because this clasping comes from the Shaytaan, and you are in a state of prayer so long as you are still in the mosque, until you go out.’” (Reported by Ahmad in his Musnad, 3/54. Al-Haythami said in al-Majma’ (2/25): its isnaad is hasan).
- Asking the person to do something again, correctly, if this is possible.
Abu Hurayrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that a man entered the mosque whilst the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was sitting in a far corner. He prayed, then he came and greeted him with salaam. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Wa ‘alayka al-salaam, go back and pray, because you have not prayed.” So he went back and prayed, then he came back and greeted the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who said, “Wa ‘alayka al-salaam, go back and pray, because you have not prayed.” On the second occasion, or subsequently, the man said, “Teach me, O Messenger of Allaah.” He said, “When you stand up to pray, do wudoo’ properly, then face the qiblah and say Takbeer (‘Allaahu akbar’). Then recite whatever is easy for you of Qur’aan, then bow until you are at ease in rukoo’, then stand up until your back is completely straight. Then prostrate until you are at ease in sujood, then sit up until you are at ease in your sitting, then prostrate again until you are at ease in your sujood, then sit up again until you are at ease in your sitting. Do this in all your prayers.” (Reported by all; this version reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath, 6251).
We should note that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pay attention to the actions of the people around him so that he could teach them. According to a report narrated by al-Nisaa'i: “A man entered the mosque and prayed, whilst the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was watching him and he did not realize. When he finished, he turned and greeted the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who told him, ‘Go back and pray, for you have not prayed’…” (2/193 Saheeh Sunan al-Nisaa'i, no. 1008).
Among the qualities of the educator is that he should be aware of the actions of those who are with him.
It is a part of educational wisdom to ask a person who has made a mistake to re-do his action, so that he can notice his mistake and put it right himself, especially when it is an obvious mistake that does not befit him. He may have done it out of forgetfulness, so this will remind him.
If the person who has made a mistake does not realize it, it must be pointed out and explained to him.
Giving information to a person who is interested and has asked about it himself is more effective and is more likely to be remembered than handing it out to someone who has not made any such enquiries.
The methods of teaching are many, and the educator can choose whichever are best suited in any given circumstances.
Another example of asking a person to repeat his action correctly is given by Muslim (may Allaah have mercy on him) in his Saheeh, where he reports that Jaabir said: “‘Umar ibn al-Khattab told me that a man did wudoo’, but missed an area on his foot the size of a fingernail. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) saw him and said, ‘Go back and do your wudoo’ properly.’ So he went and did it again, then he prayed.” (Saheeh Muslim, 243).
A third example was narrated by al-Tirmidhi (may Allaah have mercy on him) in his Sunan from Kildah ibn Hanbal, who said that Safwaan ibn Umayyah sent him with some milk, yoghurt and daghaabees [an edible plant] to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was at the top of the valley. He said, “I entered upon him, and I did not greet him with salaam or ask permission to enter, so the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, ‘Go out and say “Al-salaamu ‘alaykum, may I enter?”’” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 2710. Al-Tirmidhi said, a ghareeb hasan hadeeth. The hadeeth is also in Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 2180).
- Asking the person who has made the mistake to correct it as much as he can.
Al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on it) reported from Ibn ‘Abbaas that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “No man should be alone with a woman unless he is a mahram (close blood relative to whom marriage is permanently forbidden).” A man stood up and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, my wife has gone out for Hajj and I have signed up for such-and-such a military campaign.” He said, “Go back and do Hajj with your wife.” (al-Fath, 5233).
FIVE POISONS OF THE HEART
(Source: http://www.allaahuakbar.in/article_read.asp?id=1050)
- Unnecessary Talking
Umar Ibn al-Khattab, may Allah be pleased with him, said: "A person who talks too much is a person who often makes mistakes, and someone who often makes mistakes, often has wrong actions. The Fire has a priority over such a frequent sinner."
2. Unrestrained Glances
It has been related that the Prophet once said words to the effect: "The glance is a poisoned arrow of shaitaan. Whoever lowers his gaze for Allah, He will bestow upon him a refreshing sweetness which he will find in his heart on the day that he meets Him."
3. Too Much Food
Al-Miqdam ibn Ma'd Yakrib said: "I heard the Messenger of Allah say: "The son of Adam fills no vessel more displeasing to Allah than his stomach. A few morsels should be enough for him to preserve his strength. If he must fill it, then he should allow a third for his food, a third for his drink and leave a third empty for easy breathing."
4. Keeping Bad Company
Allah's Apostle said , "The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is I like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith's bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof."
5. Excessive Sleeping
It is necessary for a person to have a sound sleep for good health and mind, but excessive sleeping causes and adverse impact on person. Also, it has dire consequences on person's RIZQ and BARAKAH. Therefore there is Hadith advising Duas asking refuge from lazy and dull heart and mind.
I Want to Repent, But ...
Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid
Introduction
The danger of taking sin lightly
Conditions for the acceptance of repentance
Great acts of repentance
Repentance wipes out whatever came before it
Will Allaah forgive me?
The repentance of one who killed a hundred
What should I do when I have sinned?
Evil people pursue me
They threaten me
My sins haunt me
Should I confess?
Important fataawaa about repentance
Conclusion
Praise be to Allaah, we praise Him and seek His help. Whomever Allaah guides cannot be led astray, and whomever He leaves astray, cannot be guided. I bear witness that there is no god except Allaah alone, with no partner or associate, and that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
Allaah has commanded all the believers to repent, as He says (interpretation of the meaning): “… And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful.” [al-Noor 24:31]
People may be divided into two types, those who repent and turn to Allaah, and those who do wrong; there is no third category. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “… And whosoever does not repent, then such are indeed zaalimoon (wrong-doers, etc.).” [al-Hujuraat 49:11]. We are living in a time when many people have strayed far from the religion of Allah, and sin and immorality have become so widespread that there is no one who remains free from the taint of evil except for the one who is protected by Allaah.
However, Allaah will not allow but that His light should be perfected, thus many people have awoken from the slumber of negligence. They have become aware of their failure to fulfil their duties towards Allaah, have regretted their carelessness and sin, and so have started to move towards the beacon of repentance. Others have grown weary of this wretched life of misery, and so they are looking for a way out of darkness and into the Light.
But these people face many obstacles which they think stand between them and repentance, some of which exist within their own selves, and others in the world around them.
For this reason I have written this brief work, hoping to clear up this confusion, dispel doubts, explain wisdom and drive away the Shaytaan.
Following an introduction which discusses the dangers of taking sin lightly, I then explain the conditions of repentance, psychological cures, and fataawa (rulings) based on evidence from the Qur’aan and Sunnah which are addressed to those who repent. This is followed by quotations from some of the scholars’ comments, and my own concluding remarks.
I ask Allaah to benefit me and my Muslim brothers through these words. I ask no more from my brothers than that they should pray for me and offer me sincere advice (naseehah). May Allaah accept the repentance of us all.
The danger of taking sin lightly
You should know, may Allaah have mercy on me and on you, that Allaah has commanded His slaves to repent sincerely and has made doing so obligatory. He says (interpretation of the meaning): “O you who believe! Turn to Allaah with sincere repentance…” [al-Tahreem 66:8].
Allaah has given us time to repent before the honourable scribes (kiraaman kaatibeen – recording angels) record our deeds. The Prophet 
(peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The (scribe) on the left hand raises his pen (i.e., delays writing) for six hours [this may refer to six hours of 60 minutes as measured by astronomers, or it may refer to short periods of time during the day or night – Lisaan al-‘Arab] before he records the sinful deed of a Muslim. If he regrets it and seeks Allaah’s forgiveness, the deed is not recorded, otherwise it is recorded as one deed.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer and al-Bayhaqi in Shu’ab al-Eemaan (The Branches of Faith); classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Silsilat al-Ahaadeeth al-Saheehah, 1209). A further respite is granted after the deed has been recorded, up until the moment before death approaches.
The problem is that many people nowadays do not place their hope and fear in Allaah. They disobey Him by committing all manner of sins, day and night. There are those who are being tested by the idea of regarding sins as insignificant, so you may see one of them regarding certain “minor sins” (saghaa’ir) as inconsequential, so he might say, “What harm can it possibly do if I look at or shake hands with a (non-mahram) woman?” They think nothing of looking at women in magazines and on TV shows. Some of them, when they are told that this is haraam, may even facetiously ask, “So how bad can it be? Is it a major sin (kabeerah) or a minor sin (sagheerah)?” Compare this attitude with that reflected in the following reports narrated by Imaam al-Bukhaari (may Allaah have mercy on him):
Anas (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “You do things which in your eyes are less significant than a hair, but at the time of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), we used to count them as things that could destroy a man.”
Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The believer regards his sin as if he were sitting beneath a mountain which he fears may fall on him, whereas the sinner regards his sin as if a fly lands on his nose and he swipes it away.”
Will these people then understand the seriousness of the matter when they read the following hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him)? “Beware of the minor sins which are often thought of as insignificant, for they are like a group of people who stopped in the bottom of a valley. One of them brought a stick, and another brought a stick, until they had gathered enough to cook their food. These minor sins, if a person is called to account for them, will destroy him.” According to another report, he said: “Beware of minor sins, for they will pile up until they destroy a person.” (Reported by Ahmad; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2686-2687).
The scholars said that when minor sins are accompanied by a lack of shame or remorse, and with no fear of Allaah, and are taken lightly, then there is the risk that they will be counted as major sins. Hence it is said that no minor sin is minor if you persist, and no major sin is major if you keep on seeking forgiveness.
So we say to the one who is in this situation: Do not think about whether the sin is major or minor; think about the One Whom you are disobeying.
In sha Allah, these words will benefit those who are sincere, and who are aware of their sins and shortcomings, and do not insist upon doing wrong and adhering to their faults.
These words are for those who believe in the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): “Declare (O Muhammad) unto My slaves, that truly, I am the oft-Forgiving, the Most-Merciful.” [al-Hijr 15:49] and in His words “And that My Torment is indeed the most painful torment.” [al-Hijr 15:50]. It is essential to keep this balanced view in mind.
Conditions for the acceptance of repentance
The word tawbah (“repentance”) conveys a profound meaning, one which carries great implications. It is not, as many people think, the matter of mere lip-service, after uttering which a person may then continue in his sin. If you ponder the meaning of the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “… Seek the forgiveness of your Lord, and turn to Him in repentance…” [Hood 11:3], you will see that repentance is something which is over and above seeking for forgiveness.
Such a great and important matter must necessarily have conditions attached to it. The scholars have described the conditions of repentance, based on the Qur’aan and Sunnah. They include:
Immediate cessation of the sin.
Regret for what is past
Determination not to return to the sin
Restitution of victims’ rights, or seeking their forgiveness
Some scholars have also mentioned more details as conditions of sincere repentance, which we quote below with some examples:
1. That the sin should be given up only for the sake of Allaah, not for any other reason, such as being unable to do it, or being afraid of what people will say.
The person who gives up his sin because of its negative impact on his reputation and standing among people, or on his work, cannot be described as one who repents.
The person who gives up his sin for reasons of health and strength, such as one who gives up promiscuity and immorality because he is afraid of contagious killer diseases, or because it weakens his body and his memory, cannot be described as one who repents.
The person who refuses to accept a bribe because he fears that the person offering it may be from the law enforcement agency, operating under cover, cannot be described as one who repents.
The one who does not drink wine or take drugs just because he does not have the money with which to buy them cannot be described as one who repents.
The one who does not commit a sin because of reasons beyond his control cannot be described as one who repents. So the liar who is robbed of the power of speech, the adulterer who becomes impotent, the thief who loses his limbs in an accident… all of them must feel remorse for what they have done and give up any wish to do it again. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Remorse is repentance.” (Reported by Ahmad and Ibn Maajah; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6802).
In the sight of Allaah, the one who is incapable of committing a deed but has the desire to do it is the same as one who does do it. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There are only four kinds of people in this world. (The first is) a slave whom Allaah has blessed with wealth and knowledge, and he fears Allaah with regard to them, and uses them to uphold family ties, and acknowledges the rights that Allaah has over them. He has the highest status. (The second is) a slave to whom Allah has given knowledge, but not wealth. His intention is sincere, and he says, ‘If only I had wealth, I would do (good deeds) like so-and-so (the first slave).’ He will be rewarded according to his intention, so their reward will be equal. (The third is) a slave to whom Allaah has given wealth, but not knowledge. He spends his money aimlessly, neither fearing Allaah with regard to it nor using it to uphold family ties nor acknowledging the rights that Allaah has over it. He has the lowest status. (The fourth is) a slave to whom Allaah has given neither wealth nor money. He says, ‘If only I had wealth, I would do (bad deeds) like so-and-so (the third slave). He will be punished according to his intention, so their burden of sin will be equal.” (Reported by Ahmad and al-Tirmidhi, and classed as saheeh in Al-Targheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, 1/9).
2. The one who repents should feel that his sin is repulsive and harmful. This means that if a person repents sincerely, he cannot derive any feelings of pleasure or enjoyment when he remembers his past sins, or wish to repeat them in the future. In his books Al-Daa’ wa’l-Dawaa’ and al-Fawaa’id, Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) mentions many of the harmful effects of sin, including the following:
Loss of knowledge – feelings of alienation in the heart – difficulty in all one’s affairs – physical weakness – loss of the desire to obey Allaah – absence of blessing – lack of success by the help of Allaah (tawfeeq) – tightness in the chest, i.e., unhappiness – generation of evil deeds – habituation to sin – disgrace in the sight of Allaah – disgrace in the sight of people – the curse of the animals – the dress of shame – sealing of the heart and being included in the curse of Allaah – not having du’aa’s answered – corruption on land and on sea – lack of self-respect or honour – loss of a sense of shame – loss of blessings – incurring the wrath of Allaah – feelings of alarm and dismay in the heart of the sinner – falling into the clutches of Shaytaan – an unhappy end – the punishment of the Hereafter.
This description of the harmful consequences of sin would make anyone want to keep away from sin altogether, but some people no sooner give up one kind of sin but they fall prey to another kind, for numerous reasons, including the following:
They think the new sin is less serious
They have a greater inclination towards it, and their desire for it is stronger
Because circumstances are more conducive to this sin than others, which may require more effort; the means of committing it are readily available and widespread
His friends are all committing this sin, and it is too hard for him to separate himself from them
Because the sin is a means of gaining status among his companions, and he is not willing to give up his status, so he continues in his sin. This is what happens to some of those who are in positions of what may be described as gang leadership. Such a thing happened to the shameless poet Abu Nawaas, when (another poet) Abu’l-‘Ataahiyah sought to advise him concerning some of his sins. Abu Nawaas responded:
“Do you see me, O ‘Ataahi, giving up these amusements,
Do you see me losing my status among my people for a life of piety?”
The slave should hasten to repent, because delay is in itself a sin for which repentance is required.
He should have the fear that his repentance may have been lacking in some way, and he should not assume that it has been accepted, so he cannot remain complacent or feel secure against the Plan of Allaah.
He should make up for duties that he has neglected in the past, such as payment of zakaat which he withheld in the past – because it is due to Allaah and it is the right of the poor – and so on.
He should avoid the place where the sin was committed if his presence there will lead to him committing the same sin again.
He should shun those who helped him to commit the sin.
(The above is taken from Fawaa’id hadeeth qaatil al-mi’ah (what we can learn from the hadeeth about the one who killed a hundred people), which we will quote below).
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Friends on that Day will be foes one to another, except al-muttaqoon (the pious).” [al-Zukhruf 43:67]
Bad friends will curse one another on the Day of Judgement, which is why when you repent, you should keep away from them, shun them, and warn others about them if they do not respond to your da’wah and advice. You should not let Shaytaan tempt you to go back to them on the grounds that you want to advise them, especially when you know yourself to be weak and unable to resist this temptation. There are many cases of people falling back into sin because they went back to the company of bad friends.
He should destroy the haraam things in his possession, such as alcoholic drinks, musical instruments (like ‘ood – a stringed instrument - and mizmaar – a wind instrument), haraam pictures and films, worthless literature and statues. They should be broken, destroyed and burnt. This getting rid of all the trappings of jaahiliyyah at the point of turning over a new leaf is absolutely essential. How often has the keeping of such things been the cause of their owners reneging on their repentance and going astray after having been guided! May Allaah help us to remain steadfast.
He should choose righteous friends who will help him, instead of those bad friends. He should strive to attend gatherings where Allaah is remembered and where he may gain more knowledge. He should fill his time with worthwhile pursuits so that Shaytaan will not find ways to remind him of the past.
He should rebuild his body which has been fed on unlawful things, by obeying Allaah and striving to nourish it with only lawful things, so that it will become strong.
He should repent before the death-rattle appears in his throat (i.e., before death is imminent), and before the sun rises in the West [one of the major Signs of the Day of Judgement], as the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever repents before the death rattle reaches his throat, Allaah will accept it from him” (reported by Ahmad and al-Tirmidhi, Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6132) and “Whoever repents before the sun rises in the West, Allaah will accept his repentance” (reported by Muslim).
Here we will look at examples of repentance among the early generation of this ummah, the Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):
Buraydah (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that Maa’iz ibn Maalik al-Aslami came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, I have wronged myself by committing adultery, and I want you to purify me.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) turned him away. The next day, he came back and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, I have committed adultery,” and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) turned him away a second time. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent for his people and asked them, “Do you know of anything wrong with him mentally? Have you ever noticed any strange behaviour on his part?” They said, “What we know is that he is of sound mind. He is among the righteous people, as far as we can see.” Maa’iz came back a third time, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) sent for his people too, and they told him that there was nothing wrong with him or with his mind. On the fourth day, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) had a hole dug for him, and commanded that he should be stoned. The Ghaamidi woman came and said, “O Messenger of Allaah, I have committed adultery, so purify me.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) turned her away. The next day, she came back and asked, “Why are you turning me away? Perhaps you are turning me away as you turned Maa’iz away, but by Allaah I am pregnant.” He said, “Then no (I will not carry out the punishment). Go away until you have given birth.” When she had given birth, she brought the child wrapped in a cloth and said, “Here, I have given birth to him.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Go away and breastfeed him until he is weaned.” When she had weaned him, she brought the child, holding a piece of bread in his hand, and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, here he is, I have weaned him and he is eating solid food now.” The child was given to one of the Muslims to take care of, then the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) ordered that a chest-deep hole be dug for her, and that she be stoned. Khaalid ibn al-Waleed picked up a stone and threw it at her head. Blood spurted out onto his face and he swore at her. The Prophet of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) heard what he said, and told him: “Take it easy, O Khaalid! By Him in Whose hand is my soul, she has repented in such a way that if the tax-gatherer had done so, he would have been forgiven.” (Reported by Muslim). Then he gave orders that the (funeral) prayer should be offered for her, and she was buried.
According to one report, ‘Umar said: “O Messenger of Allaah, you had her stoned and now you will pray for her!” He said: “She has repented in such a way that if it were to be shared out among seventy people of Madeenah, it would be sufficient for them. Can you find anyone better than one who gives up her soul for the sake of Allaah?” (Reported by ‘Abd al-Razzaaq in al-Musannaf, 7/325).
Repentance wipes out whatever came before it
One might say: “I want to repent, but who can guarantee that Allaah will forgive me if I do so? I want to follow the Straight Path, but I feel very hesitant. If I knew for sure that Allaah would forgive me, I would definitely repent.”
I would say in response that these feelings of hesitation are the same as those experienced by the Sahaabah themselves. If you think seriously about the following two reports, the feelings you have will be dispelled, in sha Allaah.
Imaam Muslim (may Allaah have mercy on him) reported the story of how ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allaah be pleased with him) came to Islam: “…When Allaah put the love of Islam into my heart, I came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: ‘Stretch forth your hand so that I may give bay’ah (pledge of allegiance) to you. He stretched forth his hand, but I pulled my own hand back. He asked, ‘What is the matter, O ‘Amr?’ I said, ‘There is a condition.’ He asked, ‘What is the condition?’ I said: ‘That I be forgiven.’ He said: ‘Do you not know, O ‘Amr, that Islam wipes out whatever came before, hijrah (migration for the sake of Allah) wipes out whatever came before, and Hajj wipes out whatever came before?’”
Imaam Muslim reported from Ibn ‘Abbaas (may Allaah be pleased with them both) that some people among the mushrikeen killed, and killed a great deal, and they committed adultery, and did it a great deal. Then they came to Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: “What you say and advocate is good, if only you could tell us that there is any expiation for what we have done.” Then Allaah revealed the words (interpretation of the meanings): “And those who invoke not any other god along with Allaah, nor kill such life as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse – and whoever does this shall receive the punishment.” [al-Furqaan 25:68]; “Say: ‘O My slaves who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah…” [al-Zumar 39:53].
You might say: “I want to repent, but my sins are many indeed. There is no kind of immoral act, no kind of sin, imaginable or otherwise, that I have not committed. It is so bad that I do not know if Allaah can forgive me for the things that I have done over the years.”
In response, I would tell you that this is not a unique problem; it is one that is shared by many of those who wish to repent. Let me give you the example of a young man who asked this question once. He began his career of sin at a very early age, and by the time he was only seventeen, he already had a long record of committing every kind of immoral act, major and minor, with all kinds of people, old and young alike. He had even abused a little girl. Added to this was a long list of thefts. Then he said: “I have repented to Allaah. I now pray tahajjud some nights, and I fast every Monday and Thursday, and I read Qur’aan after Fajr prayers. Will my repentance be of any avail?”
The guiding principle for us Muslims is to refer to the Qur’aan and Sunnah when we look for rulings, solutions and remedies. When we refer this matter to the Qur’aan, we find that Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Say: ‘O My slaves who have transgressed against themselves (by committing evil deeds and sins)! Despair not of the Mercy of Allaah, verily Allaah forgives all sins. Truly, He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful. And turn in repentance and in obedience with true faith to your Lord and submit to Him…” [al-Zumar 39:53-54].
This is the answer to this particular problem. The matter is quite clear and needs no further explanation.
The feeling that one’s sins are too great to be forgiven by Allaah stems from a number of factors:
The absence of certain faith on the part of the slave in the vastness of Allaah’s mercy
A lack of faith in the ability of Allaah to forgive all sins
Weakness in one aspect of the heart’s action, namely hope
Failure to understand the effect of repentance in wiping out sins
We will answer all these points here:
It is sufficient to quote the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): “… and My Mercy embraces all things…” [al-A’raaf 7:156]
It is sufficient to quote the saheeh hadeeth qudsi: “Allaah says: “Whoever knows that I am able to forgive all sins, I shall forgive him, and I shall not mind, so long as he does not associate anything with Me.’” (Reported by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer, and by al-Haakim; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4330). This refers to when the slave meets his Lord in the Hereafter.
This may be remedied by referring to the hadeeth qudsi: “ ‘O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and put your hope in Me, I will forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, if your sins were to reach the clouds of the sky, and you were to ask me for forgiveness, I will forgive you and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, if you were to come to Me with sins nearly the size of the earth, and you were to meet Me not associating anything with Me, then I would bring you forgiveness nearly the size of (the earth).’” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4338).
It is sufficient to quote the hadeeth of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “The one who repents from his sin is like the one who did not sin in the first place.” (Reported by Ibn Maajah; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3008).
For those who find it hard to comprehend how Allaah may forgive such an accumulation of sin, we quote the following hadeeth:
The repentance of one who killed a hundred
Abu Sa’eed Sa’d ibn Maalik ibn Sinaan al-Khudri (may Allaah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “There was among the people who came before you a man who killed ninety-nine people. Then he asked about the most knowledgeable person on earth, and was directed to a hermit, so he went to him, told him that he had killed ninety-nine people, and asked if he could be forgiven. The hermit said, ‘No,’ so he killed him, thus completing one hundred. Then he asked about the most knowledgeable person on earth and was directed to a scholar. He told him that he had killed one hundred people, and asked whether he could be forgiven. The scholar said, ‘Yes, what could possibly come between you and repentance? Go to such-and-such a town, for in it there are people who worship Allaah. Go and worship with them, and do not go back to your own town, for it is a bad place.” So the man set off, but when he was halfway there, the angel of death came to him, and the angels of mercy and the angels of wrath began to argue over him. The angels of mercy said: ‘He had repented and was seeking Allaah.’ The angels of wrath said: ‘He never did any good thing.’ An angel in human form came to them, and they asked him to decide the matter. He said: ‘Measure the distance between the two lands (his home town and the town he was headed for), and whichever of the two he is closest to is the one to which he belongs.’ So they measured the distance, and found that he was closer to the town for which he had been headed, so the angels of mercy took him.” (Agreed upon). According to a report in al-Saheeh: “The righteous town was a hand-span closer, so he was counted as one of its people.” According to another report in al-Saheeh: “Allaah commanded (the evil town) to move away, and (the righteous town) to move closer, and said: ‘Measure the distance between them,’ and they found him to be a hand-span closer to the righteous town, so he was forgiven.”
What then can come between a person and repentance? Do you think that your sins are any greater than the sins of this man, whose repentance Allaah accepted? So why despair? The matter is even greater than this. Think about the words of Allaah (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who invoke not any other god along with Allaah, nor kill such life as Allaah has forbidden, except for just cause, nor commit illegal sexual intercourse – and whoever does this shall receive the punishment. The torment shall be doubled to him on the Day of Resurrection, and he will abide therein in disgrace; except those who repent and believe, and do righteous deeds; for those, Allaah will change their sins into good deeds, and Allaah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” [al-Furqaan 25:68-70].
Stop and think about that phrase: “… Allaah will change their sins into good deeds…” [al-Furqaan 25:70]. This will explain to you the immense grace and favour of Allaah. The scholars have defined this change as being of two types:
Changing bad characteristics into good ones, so that shirk is changed into true faith, fornication into chastity, lies into truthfulness, treachery into trustworthiness, etc.
Changing evil deeds that one has committed into good deeds on the Day of Resurrection. Think about the words “…Allaah will change their sins into good deeds…”. It does not say that one bad deed will be exchanged for a good deed (of equal weight). It could be less, the same, or more, in number or in weight. It will depend on the sincerity of the one who repents. Can you imagine any greater favour than this? See how this divine generosity is further explained in the following hadeeth:
‘Abd al-Rahmaan ibn Jubayr reported from Abu Taweel Shatb al-Mamdood that he came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) [another report states that a very old man whose eyebrows had fallen over his eyes (i.e., he had sunken eyes) came and stood before the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) supporting himself with a stick] and said: “What do you think of a man who has committed every sin, not leaving out any sin, major or minor [according to another report: if his sins were to be divided among all the people of the world, they would destroy them]. Can such a man repent?” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) asked, “Have you become Muslim?” He said: “I bear witness that there is no god except Allaah and that you are the messenger of Allaah.” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Do good deeds and keep away from evil deeds, and Allaah will turn them all into good deeds for you.” He asked, “What about my acts of treachery and immorality?” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Yes, (those too).” The man said, “Allaahu akbar (Allaah is most great)!” and kept glorifying Allaah until he was out of sight.
(Al-Haythami said: a similar version was reported by al-Tabaraani and al-Bazzaar. The men of al-Bazzaar’s isnaad are the men of saheeh apart from Muhammad ibn Haaroon Abi Nasheetah, who is thiqah. Al-Majma’ 1/36. Al-Mundhiri said in al-Targheeb: its isnaad is jayyid qawiy, 4/113. Ibn Hajar said in al-Isaabah 4/149 that it meets the conditions of saheeh.)
At this point the one who is seeking to repent may ask: “When I was astray and not even praying, which meant I was beyond the pale of Islam, I did do some good deeds. Will I be rewarded for these deeds after I repent, or are they lost in the wind?”
The answer to this question may be found in the following hadeeth: ‘Urwah ibn al-Zubayr reported that Hakeem ibn Hizaam told him that he said to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “O Messenger of Allaah, do you think that I will be rewarded for the (good) things like giving charity, freeing slaves and upholding family ties that I did during the Jaahiliyyah (days of ignorance before Islam)?” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “You became Muslim because of the good that you had already done.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari).
These sins will be forgiven, these evil deeds will be turned into good deeds, and these good deeds that were done during the days of jaahiliyyah will still count in your favour after you repent. What more could anyone possibly want?
What should I do when I have sinned?
You might ask: “If I commit a sin, how can I repent from it straightaway? Is there anything that I should do straight after committing a sin?”
The answer is that there are two things which should be done after committing a sin. The first is to feel remorse in one's heart and to be determined not to repeat the sin. This is the result of fearing Allaah. The second is to undertake some physical action to do different kinds of good deeds, such as praying salaat al-tawbah (the prayer of repentance). Abu Bakrah (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: ‘There is no man who commits a sin, then gets up, purifies himself, prays two rak’ahs then asks Allaah to forgive him, but Allaah will forgive him.’” (Reported by the authors of Sunan; see Saheeh al-Tagheeb wa’l-Tarheeb, 1/284). Then he recited this aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “And those who, when they have committed faahishah (illegal sexual intercourse, etc.) or wronged themselves with evil, remember Allaah and ask forgiveness for their sins; - and none can forgive sins but Allaah – and do not persist in what (wrong) they have done, while they know.” [Aal ‘Imraan 3:135]
Other saheeh reports describe how to perform the two rak’ahs which will expiate for sin. In summary:
He should perform wudoo’. “There is no-one who performs wudoo’ and performs it well, but his sins will fall from the washed limbs with the water or with the last drop of water.”
He should do wudoo’ well. Doing wudoo’ well includes saying “Bismillaah” at the beginning, and reciting some du’aa’s afterwards, such as “Ash-hadu an laa ilaaha ill-Allaah wahdahu laa shareeka lah, wa ash-hadu anna Muhammadan ‘abduhu wa rasooluhu” or “Allaahumma’j’alni min al-tawwaabeen wa’j’alni min al-mutahhareen (O Allaah, make me one of those who repent and make me one of those who are purified)” or “Subhaanak Allaahumma wa bi hamdika ash-hadu an laa ilaaha illa anta, astaghfiruka wa atoobu ilayk (Glory and praise be to you O Allah. I bear witness that there is no god but You. I seek Your forgiveness and I repent to You).” Saying any of these du’aa’s after wudoo’ will bring a great reward.
He should stand and offer two rak’ahs of prayer.
He should not make any mistakes or forget any part of the prayer.
He should not let his thoughts wander.
He should concentrate properly and think of Allaah whilst praying.
Then he should seek the forgiveness of Allaah.
The result will be that his previous sins will be forgiven, and he will be assured of
This should be followed with more good deeds and acts of obedience to Allaah. When ‘Umar (may Allaah be pleased with him) realized that he had made the mistake of disagreeing with the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) during the Campaign of al-Hudaybiyah, he said: “Because of that I did many deeds,” i.e., righteous deeds, as expiation for that sin.
Think about the example given in the following saheeh hadeeth:
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “The one who does bad deeds then does good deeds is like a man who wears a tight coat of mail which almost chokes him; when he does a good deed, it becomes a little looser, and as he does more good deeds it becomes even looser, until it falls off him and drops to the ground.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2192).
So good deeds release the sinner from the prison of disobedience, and bring him forth into the brave new world of obedience to Allaah.
Ibn Mas’ood said: “A man came to the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and said: ‘O Messenger of Allaah, I found a woman in a garden and I did everything with her (kissing and fondling) except that (intercourse), so do with me as you will.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not say anything, and the man went away. ‘Umar said: ‘Allaah covered his sin. He should have covered it himself.’ The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) followed the man with his gaze and said: ‘Bring him back to me.’ So they brought him back, and (the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) recited to him: ‘And perform al-salaah (prayer) at the two ends of the day and in some hours of the night. Verily, the good deeds remove the evil deeds (i.e., small sins). That is a reminder for the mindful (those who accept advice)’ [Hood 11:114 – interpretation of the meaning].” According to the report narrated by ‘Umar, Mu’aadh said: “O Messenger of Allaah, is this just for him or does it apply to all the people?” The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “No, it applies to all the people.” (Reported by Muslim)
You might say, “I want to repent, but evil friends are pursuing me wherever I go. As soon as they learn of any change I have made, they launch an attack against me, and I feel too weak to resist them. What can I do?”
Our answer is: bear this with patience, for this is how Allaah tests His sincere slaves, so that He may distinguish the truthful from the liars, the good from the evil.
As you have taken the first step on the Straight Path, stand firm and persevere. These people are the devils of men and jinn, who will conspire with one another to turn you away from this path. Pay no heed to them. At the beginning, they will tell you that this is just a passing fancy, a temporary crisis that will not last. Strangely enough, such people have been known to say of friends who were setting out on the road of repentance, “What evil he has fallen into!”
One of these evil people, when her former boyfriend put the phone down on her because he had repented and wanted nothing more to do with this sin, called him back a few days later to say, “Maybe the evil insinuations have stopped now!”
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Say: I seek refuge with (Allaah) the Lord of mankind,
The King of mankind,
The ilaah (God) of mankind,
From the evil of the whisperer (devil who whispers evil in the hearts of men) who withdraws (from his whispering in one’s heart after one remembers Allaah),
Who whispers in the breasts of mankind,
Of jinns and men.”
[al-Naas 114:1-6]
Is your Lord more deserving of obedience, or these people who call to evil?
You should know that they will pursue you wherever you go and will use every means at their disposal to try to bring you back to the way of sin. One young man told me that he had had a girlfriend who, after he repented, used to tell her driver to follow him, and she would call to him from the window of her car whilst he was on his way to the mosque!
But Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Allaah will keep firm those who believe, with the word that stands firm in this world (i.e., they will keep on worshipping Allaah alone and none else) and in the Hereafter.” [Ibraaheem 14:27]
They will try to remind you of the past and make your past sins appear attractive, by means of reminders, earnest pleas, pictures, letters… Do not pay any attention to them. Be on your guard against the ways in which they will try to tempt you. Remember the story of Ka’b ibn Maalik, one of the great Companions of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him). The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) commanded all his Companions to cut off ties with Ka’b because he had stayed behind and had not joined the expedition to Tabook. This boycott was to last until Allaah decided concerning him. The kaafir king of Ghassaan sent a letter to Ka’b, in which he said: “We hear that your master has treated you badly. Allaah has not put you in a house of humiliation and loss, so come to us and we will provide for you.” The kaafir wanted to win over the Muslim so that he would leave Madeenah and be lost in the land of kufr. How did this great Sahaabi react to this? Ka’b said: “When I read it, I said, ‘This is also a test,’ and I threw it in the oven and burned it.”
This is how the Muslim, male or female, should deal with everything that is sent by bad people: burn it to ashes, and whilst you are burning it, remember the Fire of Hell.
Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“So be patient. Verily, the Promise of Allaah is true, and let not those who have no certainty of faith, discourage you from conveying Allaah’s message” [al-Room 30:60]
You may say: “I want to repent but my old friends are threatening to reveal my past and publish my secrets to everyone. They have pictures and other papers they can use against me. I am worried about my reputation, and I am scared!”
Our advice is: fight back against these friends of Shaytaan. The tricks of Shaytaan are weak, and all the pressure that the helpers of Iblees may bring against you will soon crumble in the face of the patience and perseverance of the true believer.
You should realize that if you try to placate them, this will only give them more evidence to use against you, and you will be the loser sooner or later. Do not pay any heed to them, ask Allaah to help you to deal with them and say: “Hasbi Allaah wa ni’m al-wakeel (Allaah is Sufficient for me and He is the Best Disposer of affairs).” When the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was afraid of a people, he would say: “Allaahumma innaa naj’aluka fi nuhoorihim wa na’oodhu bika min shuroorihim (O Allaah, we ask You to seize them by their throats and we seek refuge with You from their evil).” (Reported by Ahmad and Abu Dawood; see also Saheeh al-Jaami, 4582).
It is true that this is a difficult situation. Take the poor girl who has repented, but her former boyfriend calls her on the phone and threatens her by saying: “I have recorded our conversations and I have pictures of you. If you refuse to go out with me I will disgrace you in front of your family.” She is certainly in an unenviable position.
Look at the way in which the friends of Shaytaan wage psychological war on those singers and actors, male and female, who have repented. They distribute the worst of their former productions in the marketplace, to put pressure on them. But Allaah is with those who fear Him and those who repent. He is the Friend and Supporter of the believers. He will not abandon or forsake them. Never has anyone sought His protection and been refused. Remember that with hardship there is ease, and after every difficulty comes relief.
The following moving story offers clear testimony in support of what we are saying. This is the story of the great and heroic Sahaabi Marthad ibn Abi Marthad al-Ghanawi, who used to help oppressed Muslims flee from Makkah to Madeenah in secret.
There was a man called Marthad ibn Abi Marthad, who used to smuggle Muslim prisoners-of-war from Makkah to Madeenah. There was a prostitute in Makkah, called ‘Anaaq, who had been a friend of Marthad’s. Marthad had promised to take one of the prisoners from Makkah to Madeenah. He said: “I came to the shade of one of the gardens of Makkah on a moonlit night, then ‘Anaaq came and saw my shadow by the garden. When she reached me, she recognized me and said: ‘Marthad?’ I said, ‘Marthad.’ She said: ‘Welcome! Come and stay with us tonight.’ I said, ‘O ‘Anaaq, Allaah has forbidden zinaa (unlawful sexual relations)’ She called out, ‘O people of the camp! This man is taking your prisoners away!’ Eight men came after me, and I climbed al-Khandamah (a mountain outside one of the entrances to Makkah) and hid in a cave. They came and stood right over me, but Allaah blinded them and they did not see me, so they turned back. I came back to my companion (the prisoner he was planning to take to Madeenah) and picked him up, and he was a heavy man. When we reached al-Udhkhar, I released him from his chains. Then I carried him again and I found the journey difficult. When I reached Madeenah, I came to the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) and asked him, ‘O Messenger of Allaah, should I marry ‘Anaaq?’ I asked him twice. The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) remained silent and did not answer me at all, until the aayah ‘Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever; nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman; to the Believers such a thing is forbidden’ [al-Noor 24:3 – Yusuf ‘Ali’s translation] was revealed. Then the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: ‘O Marthad, Let no man guilty of adultery or fornication marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an Unbeliever; nor let any but such a man or an Unbeliever marry such a woman, so do not marry her.’”
(Saheeh Sunan al-Tirmidhi, 3/80).
Do you see how Allaah protects those who believe and how He is with those who do good?
But if the worst comes to the worst, and the thing you fear happens – they broadcast bad things about you – what you need to do is to be honest and explain your situation to others. Tell them, “Yes, I was a sinner, but now I have repented to Allaah, so what do you want?”
We should all remember that true disgrace will occur not in this world, but in the Hereafter, on the Day of Judgement, the Day of the Greatest Humiliation, not in front of one or two hundred people, not in front of one or two thousand, but in front of the whole of creation, angels, jinn and mankind, all the people from Adam to the last man.
Let us remember the du’aa’ of Ibraaheem:
“And disgrace me not on the Day when (all the creatures) will be resurrected;
The Day whereon neither wealth nor sons will avail,
Except him who brings to Allaah a clean heart”
[al-Shu’araa’ 26:87-89 – interpretation of the meaning]
At moments of distress, seek help with the du’aa’ of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him):
“Allaahumma ustar ‘awraatanaa wa aamin raw’aatanaa. Allaahumma aj’al tha’ranaa ‘ala man zalamananaa wa’nsurnaa ‘ala man baghiya ‘alaynaa. Allaahumma la tushammit binaa’l-a’daa’ wa laa’l-haasideen (O Allaah, cover our faults and calm our fears safe. O Allaah, avenge us over those who have oppressed us, and grant us victory over those who have wronged us. O Allaah, do not cause our enemies or those who envy us to take malicious joy in our misfortune).”
You might say: “I committed many sins, and I have repented, but my sins pursue me and I am haunted by what I have done. My memories disturb my sleep and do not let me have any rest. How can I free myself?”
My advice to you is that these feelings are evidence of your sincere repentance. This is essentially remorse, and remorse is repentance. But you can look at your past with hope: the hope that Allaah will forgive you. Do not despair of the mercy of Allaah, for He says (interpretation of the meaning): “And who despairs of the Mercy of his Lord except those who are astray?” [al-Hijr 15:56]
Ibn Mas’ood (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: “The gravest of major sins are to associate partners with Allaah, to feel secure against the plan of Allaah and to despair of the mercy of Allaah. (Reported by ‘Abd al-Razzaaq and classed as saheeh by al-Haythami and Ibn Katheer).
In the process of moving towards Allaah, the believer is always motivated by both fear of Allaah and hope of His mercy. One or other of them may prevail at times of need. If he sins, the fear of Allaah overwhelms him, and so he repents. When he repents, the hope of Allaah’s mercy fills his heart and he seeks the forgiveness of Allaah.
A person may sorrowfully ask: “I want to repent, but do I have to go and confess the sins I have committed? Is it a condition of repentance that I should tell the qaadi (judge) in the court about everything that I have done, and ask him to carry out the appropriate punishment on me? What is the meaning of the story I have just read about the repentance of Maa’iz, of the Ghaamidi woman and of the man who kissed a woman in the garden?”
My response to you is that the slave’s direct relationship with Allaah, with no intermediaries, is one of the most important aspects of the belief in Tawheed (Divine Unity) with which Allaah is pleased. He says (interpretation of the meaning): “And when My slaves ask you (O Muhammad) concerning Me, then (answer them), I am indeed near (to them by My knowledge). I respond to the invocations of the supplicant when he calls on Me (without any mediator or intercessor)…” [al-Baqarah 2:186]. If we believe that repentance is only for Allaah, then confession is only for Allaah too. In fact, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to pray in his du’aa’s asking for forgiveness: “Aboo’u laka bi na’matika wa aboo’u bi dhanbi (I acknowledge Your blessings and I acknowledge (i.e. confess) my sin to You).” This is a confession to Allaah.
We are not, by the grace of Allaah, like the Christians, with the priest, the chair of confession, the documents of forgiveness, etc.
Indeed, Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Know they not that Allaah accepts repentance from His slaves…?” [al-Tawbah 9:104], i.e., He accepts repentance from His slaves without any mediator or intercessor.
As regards the carrying out of punishments, if the deed has not come to the official attention of the imaam, ruler or qaadi, a person does not have to go to them and confess. If Allaah has covered the sins of a person, there is nothing wrong with him covering his own sins. It is sufficient for him to repent to Allaah, and the matter is between him and his Lord. One of the Names of Allaah is al-Sitteer, meaning the One Who covers or conceals (the faults of His slaves), and He likes His slaves to conceal sins too. As far as the Sahaabah such as Maa’iz, the Ghaamidi woman who committed zinaa, and the man who kissed the woman in the garden are concerned, all of them did something which they were not obliged to do, may Allaah be pleased with them, because they were so keen to purify themselves. The evidence for this is the fact that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) turned away from Maa’iz and from the Ghaamidi woman at first. When ‘Umar said to the man who had kissed the woman in the garden, “Allaah covered his sin. He should have covered it himself?” the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) remained silent, indicating that he concurred with these words.
So it is not necessary to go to the court and register an official confession, if Allaah has covered one’s sins. Nor is it necessary to go to the imaam of a mosque and ask him to carry out the appropriate punishment, or to ask a friend to carry out the punishment of lashing inside the house, as some people imagine.
The following story will teach you how important it is to be careful of the attitude of some ignorant people towards those who repent: a man who wanted to repent went to the ignorant imaam of a mosque, confessed his sins to him and asked him what he should do. The imaam said, “Go to the court and confess your sins officially. They will carry out the appropriate punishment on you. Then we will see what to do next.” The poor man saw that he would not be able to do this, so he forgot about repenting and went back to his old ways.
Here I will take the opportunity to add an important comment: knowing about the rules of Islam, and seeking them from the correct sources is a trust. Allaah says (interpretation of the meanings):
“… so ask of those who know the Scripture, if you know not.” [al-Nahl 16:43]
“… The Most Beneficent! Ask Him, as He is al-Khabeer (the All-Knower of everything).” [al-Furqaan 25:59]
Not every preacher is qualified to issue fataawaa (rulings or edicts). Not every imaam or muezzin, speaker or storyteller, is qualified to deliver rulings to the people. But the Muslim is responsible for knowing from where he can take rulings. This is an important matter of religion. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) feared what might befall his ummah at the hands of misguided imaams. One of the salaf (early generation of Islam) said: “Knowledge is religion, so pay attention to who it is you are taking your religion from.” Beware of these pitfalls, and only consult trustworthy scholars when you are in doubt about an issue. And Allaah is the source of help.
Important fataawaa about repentance
You might say: “I want to repent, but I know nothing about the rulings concerning repentance. I have many questions about how to repent properly from my sins, how to repay the ‘debts’ I owe to Allaah for the duties towards Him that I have neglected and how to compensate others for the things that I have taken from them or denied them. Is there any answer to all these questions?”
Here are some answers that will quench your thirst for knowledge as you return to Allaah:
Q1: I fall into sin, then I repent, but my human soul which is prone to evil (my nafs) gets the better of me and I repeat the sin! Does this mean that my first act of repentance is cancelled out and that I still bear the burden of the earlier sin as well as the later sin?
A1: Most of the scholars say that it is not a condition of valid repentance that the person should never commit the sin again. The conditions of valid repentance are that the person should stop the sinful action immediately, feel sincere remorse for having done it, and be determined not to repeat it. If he does repeat it, he is then like a person who has committed a new sin, for which he must repent anew; his previous repentance, however, is still valid.
Q2: Is repentance from one sin valid when I am still guilty of another?
A2: Yes, repentance from one sin is valid even if you are guilty of another, so long as they are not of the same kind and the second sin is not connected to the first. For example, if a person repents from dealing in riba (usury, interest) although he drinks wine, or vice versa, then his repentance is valid, but if he were to repent from dealing in simple interest whilst still dealing in compound interest, then his repentance would not be acceptable. Similarly, if he were to repent from smoking hashish whilst still drinking wine, or vice versa, or he were to repent from committing zinaa with one woman whilst still in a sinful relationship with another, his repentance would be unacceptable. In such cases, all that one is doing is moving from one sin to another within the same category of wrongdoing. (See al-Madaarij)
Q3: I have neglected many rights of Allaah in the past, such as prayers, fasting and zakaah. What should I do now?
A3: According to the most correct opinion, the person who has neglected prayers in the past does not have to make them up now, because the time when they were due is now over, and he cannot do anything about it. However, he can compensate for them by sincerely repenting, seeking Allaah’s forgiveness and offering as many naafil (supererogatory) prayers as he can, so that Allaah may excuse him.
If the person who has neglected fasting was Muslim at the time when the fasts were due, then he has to make them up and, moreover, he has to feed one poor person for each day of Ramadaan that he missed and did not make up before the next Ramadaan came, for no reason. This is the expiation for delay in making up fasts, and it remains as such, even if successive Ramadaans have come and gone.
Example 1: A man neglected to fast on 3 days of Ramadaan in 1400 AH and 5 days of Ramadaan in 1401 AH, out of negligence. Several years later, he repented to Allaah. He must now make up the eight days on which he did not fast, and feed one poor person for each of the eight missed days.
Example 2: A girl reached the age of puberty (i.e., started her periods) in 1400 AH, but felt too embarrassed to tell her family, so she fasted for the eight days, say, of her period, and did not make up those days later. [These fasts are invalid because a menstruating woman is not allowed to fast. Translator]. Subsequently, she repented to Allaah, so now the same ruling applies – she has to make up those days and feed one poor person for each missed day.
It should also be noted here that there is a difference between neglecting prayers and neglecting fasting. There are some scholars who say that the one who deliberately misses a fast with no excuse, cannot make it up later.
The one who has neglected to pay zakaah in the past still has to pay it, because it is both the right of Allaah and the right of the poor.
(For more information, see Madaarij al-Saalikeen, 1/383)
Q4: If a sin involves the rights of another person, what form should repentance take?
A4: The governing principle in this case is the hadeeth of the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him): “Whoever has done wrong to his brother, whether it be the matter of honour or of money, let him put it right today, before he is overtaken by a Day on which there will be no dinar or dirham, but any good deeds he has to his credit may be taken and given in compensation to the one he has wronged, and if he has no good deeds to his credit, his victim’s sins may be taken and added to his own burden instead.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari).
The only way out for the person who is repenting from such wrongful acts is to give back what he owes to his victims, or to ask for their forgiveness. If they forgive him, then all is well, otherwise he has to pay them back.
Q5: I committed the sin of backbiting about one or more persons, and I slandered others by saying that they had done things of which they were innocent. Do I have to tell them about what I did and ask for their forgiveness? If not, then how do I repent?
A5: This is a matter which requires one to weigh up the pros and cons.
If telling them about the backbiting or slander is not going to make them angry or cause them to hate him, then he should tell them – even if only in general terms – and ask for their forgiveness. He could say “I have wronged you in the past,” or “I have spoken unfairly about you, and now I have repented to Allaah, so please forgive me” – without going into details, and this is good enough.
But if telling them about his backbiting or slander is likely to provoke their hatred and anger (which is more likely in most cases), or if general terms will not satisfy them and they will demand more details (which will make them hate him even more) – then he does not have to tell them at all, because Islam does not want to increase wrongdoing. Telling a person who was previously relaxed and happy about something that will make him angry and provoke hatred goes against the aims of sharee’ah, which seeks to open Muslims’ hearts towards one another and spread brotherly love among them. Telling a person about one’s backbiting may make that person hate him from now on. In such a case it is sufficient just to repent to Allaah, in the following manner:
One should feel remorse, seek Allaah’s forgiveness, think about the vileness of this sin, and believe that it is haraam.
He should tell the people to whom he uttered the false words that what he said was not true, and he should clear the name of the person about whom the slander was uttered.
He should speak highly of the person he had slandered, in the same gatherings where the backbiting occurred, and mention his good qualities.
He should defend the person about whom he had gossiped in the past, and speak up for him if anyone tries to speak ill of him.
He should pray for forgiveness for him in his absence.
(al-Madaarij, 1/291; al-Mughni ma’a’l-Sharh al-Kabeer, 12/78)
We should note here the difference between financial rights and the right to physical safety, on the one hand, and the rights affected by backbiting and slander, on the other. People can benefit from being told about and compensated for their financial rights, and they will be happy, which is why concealing them is not permitted. This is different to the case of offences which concern a man’s honour, where disclosing them will only cause more distress and pain.
Q6: How does a murderer repent?
A6: The murderer has violated three rights: the rights of Allaah, the rights of his victim, and the rights of his victim’s heirs.
As regards the rights of Allaah, the only way to repay them is to repent.
As regards the rights of his victim’s heirs, he has to hand himself over to them so that they may avail themselves of their rights. They have three choices: qisaas (retaliation), or diyah (“blood money”) or they may forgive him.
As regards the rights of the victim, they cannot be compensated in this world. In this case, the scholars say that if the murderer’s repentance is sincere, Allaah will absolve him of the obligation to repay his victim, and will Himself compensate the victim on the Day of Resurrection. This is the soundest opinion. (al-Madaarij, 1/199).
Q7: How does a thief repent?
A7: If the stolen goods are still in his possession, he should return them to their owners. If he has disposed of them or if their value has declined because of wear and tear or the passage of time, then he should repay their original value, unless the owners are willing to forgive him.
Q8: I feel too ashamed and embarrassed to face the people from whom I stole, and I cannot go and confess to them or ask for their forgiveness. What should I do?
A8: There is no sin on you if you look for a way to avoid the unbearable embarrassment of facing them. You could return their property via a third person, asking him not to mention your name, or you could send it by mail, or you could secretly place it where they will find it, or you could use an indirect approach, such as saying, “This is what someone owes you.” What matters is not naming names, but restoring people’s rightful property to them.
Q9: I used to steal from my father’s pocket in secret. Now I want to repent, but I do not know exactly how much I stole, and I am too ashamed to face him and tell him.
A9: You should estimate the amount you took to the best of your ability, thinking in terms of more rather than less. There is nothing wrong with returning it as secretly as you took it.
Q10: I stole money from some people, and now I have repented, but I do not know where they live. (Another person might say: I embezzled money from a company which has now closed down, or which has transferred elsewhere”, or “I stole from a store which has now changed its location, and I do not know who owns it.”)
A10: You have to look for them, as best you can within your means. If you find them, then repay what you owe to them. If the owner has died, then make the repayment to his heirs. If, despite your best efforts, you cannot find them, then give an equal amount in charity on their behalf – even if they are not Muslim, for Allaah will reward them in this world, although there is no reward for disbelievers in the Hereafter.
This matter is like that discussed by Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) in al-Madaarij (1/388): a man in the Muslim army stole from the spoils of war. After some time, he repented, and took what he had stolen to the commander of the army, who refused to accept it, saying, “How can I return it to the soldiers when they have dispersed?” So (the man) went to Hajjaaj ibn al-Shaa’ir (to ask for his advice). Hajjaaj said: “Allaah knows the army, He knows their names and the names of their fathers. Pay one-fifth to the rightful owner (i.e., the bayt al-maal or treasury of the Islamic state, to which one-fifth of all spoils of war are to be given), and give the rest in charity on their behalf. Allaah will ensure that it reaches them.” So the man did as he was advised. When he told Mu’aawiyah (the khaleefah) about it, he said: “If only I had been the one to issue this fatwaa to you, it would be dearer to me than half of what I rule over.” Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) issued a similar fatwaa, which is also mentioned in al-Madaarij.
Q11: I unlawfully seized some wealth that belonged to orphans, and invested it in trade. This brought a profit which multiplied the original amount several times. But now I have begun to fear Allaah. How can I repent?
A11: The scholars have expressed several opinions on such cases. The most moderate and equitable of them suggests that you should return the original capital to the orphans, along with half of the profits. This will make you and them partners, as it were, in the profit, as well as returning the original amount to them.
This opinion was narrated from Imaam Ahmad ibn Hanbal, and was also the view of Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, whose student Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allaah have mercy on him) judged it to be the most correct. (al-Madaarij, 1/392).
A similar ruling also applies in the case of stolen camels or sheep: if they produce offspring, then the original livestock and half of the young should be given to the rightful owner. If the original livestock has died, then its monetary value and half of the young should be handed over.
Q12: A man was working in an airfreight company which stored different kinds of goods, and he stole a cassette recorder from them. Years later, he repented. Should he return the recorder itself, or should he give them the equivalent monetary value or a similar machine, as the original model is no longer to be found on the market?
A12: He should return the original machine, plus an appropriate amount of money to make up for the depreciation in value caused by the passage of time and wear and tear of use. This should be done in a suitable manner, without causing any harm or trouble for himself. If this is not possible, then he should give an equivalent amount in charity on behalf of the original owner.
Q13: I used to have money that was earned from riba (usury or interest), but I have spent it all and have nothing left. Now I want to repent – what should I do?
A13: All you have to do is repent sincerely to Allaah. Riba is a serious matter, as may be seen from the fact that in the Qur’aan, Allaah did not declare war on anyone except on the people who deal in riba. But since the money that was earned from riba is all gone, you do not have to do anything with regard to it.
Q14: I bought a car with money, some of which was halaal and some was haraam. I still have the car – what should I do now?
A14: If a person buys something that cannot be split up – like a house or a car – with money that is partly halaal and partly haraam, it is sufficient for him to take an amount equivalent to the haraam money from some other wealth that he owns, and pay that in charity, in order to purify the item he owns. If the haraam part of the money is due to other people, he has to pay them the equivalent, according to the guidelines laid out in previous questions.
Q15: What should be done with money earned from selling cigarettes, when it has been mixed or saved with other, halaal, money?
A15: Anyone who trades in haraam things, such as selling musical instruments, haraam tapes and cigarettes, when he knows the ruling concerning them, then repents, should give away the profits he made to a good cause. The object is just to get rid of them; this is not counted as an act of charity as such, because Allaah is good and pure and only accepts what is good and pure.
If this haraam money is mixed with other, halaal, money – as in the case of a storekeeper who sells cigarettes alongside other, permissible goods, then he should calculate the amount to the best of his ability and pay that to a good cause, in the hope of purifying the rest of his wealth. Allaah will compensate him with good, for He is the Most Generous, Most Kind.
Generally speaking, anyone who has wealth earned by haraam means and wants to repent should do the following:
If he was not Muslim at the time when he earned the money, he does not have to dispose of it when he repents, because the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) did not instruct his Companions to dispose of their haraam earnings when they embraced Islam.
If he was Muslim at the time when he earned the haraam money, and knew that it was haraam, then he has to dispose properly of whatever haraam money he has at the time he repents.
Q16: A man used to take bribes, but now Allaah has guided him to the Straight Path. What should he do with the money that he had earned in the form of bribes?
Either of the following will apply in this case:
Either he took bribes from an oppressed person who was forced to pay bribes in order to gain what was rightfully his because he had no other means of getting his rights. In this case, the one who wants to repent should repay the bribe because it is viewed as having been taken by force.
Or he took the bribe from someone who was as guilty of wrongdoing as he was, and who used bribes as a means of obtaining things that were not rightfully his. In this case, the money should not be returned to the one who paid the bribe, but should be disposed of in a good cause, such as giving it to the poor. The one who wants to repent from taking bribes should also repent from the harm he caused by denying people what was rightfully theirs and giving it to those who did not deserve it.
Q17: I used to do haraam things and get paid for them. Now that I have repented, do I have to return this money to the people who paid it to me?
A17: When a person who used to perform haraam services and get paid for them repents, he should dispose of any such earnings that he still has, but he should not return them to the people from whom he took them.
So a prostitute who used to take money for committing zinaa should not give it back to her customers when she repents. The singer who used to accept payment for singing haraam songs should not give the money back to his audience when he repents. The one who used to sell wine or drugs should not give the money back to his customers when he repents. The one who used to bear false witness in return for payment should not give the money back to those who used his services when he repents – and so on. The reason for this is that if the money is given back to the sinner who paid it, that means that he will have gained both the sin and the haraam money (which increases his chances of committing more haraam deeds). This is the preferred opinion of Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah, and it was considered to be the most correct opinion by his student Ibn al-Qayyim. (al-Madaarij, 1/390)
Q18: There is another matter that has been worrying me. I committed illegal sexual intercourse with a woman. How do I repent from this sin? Is it permissible for me to marry her in order to cover up the affair?
Another man may say that he committed illegal sexual intercourse while he was overseas, and that the woman became pregnant as a result. Is this his child, and is he obliged to send money to meet the child’s expenses?
A18: Questions of this sort have been asked so frequently that it is imperative for all Muslims to pay serious attention to reforming themselves in accordance with the guidance of the Qur’aan and Sunnah. Special attention needs to be paid towards lowering the gaze, avoiding being alone with a member of the opposite sex (khulwah), avoiding shaking hands with a woman to whom one is not closely related, adhering to full hijaab, not mixing with the opposite sex, not travelling to non-Muslim countries when there is no need to do so, cultivating Muslim homes and Muslim families, and encouraging early marriage and removing the obstacles that may be preventing it.
As regards the question about the person who committed illegal sexual intercourse, either of the following situations will apply:
Either he had intercourse with her by force (i.e., rape). In this case, he has to pay her an appropriate mahr (dowry) as compensation for the harm that he has caused her, and he has to repent sincerely to Allaah. If the matter has come to the attention of the authorities, the appropriate punishment is to be carried out on him. (See al-Madaarij, 1/366).
Or he has intercourse with her with her consent. In this case, all that he is required to do is to repent. The child does not take his name and is not regarded as being his at all. He does not have to spend on the child because it is the result of fornication; in this case the child should take the mother’s name, not the name of the man who committed fornication.
It is not permitted for a man who is repenting to marry the woman in order to cover up the affair, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):
“Let no man guilty of fornication or adultery marry any but a woman similarly guilty, or an unbeliever: nor let any but such a man or an unbeliever marry such a woman...” [al-Noor 24:3]
It is not permitted for a man to marry a woman who is pregnant as the result of fornication, even if it is that man’s child, or to marry a woman when one does not know if she is pregnant or not.
If he and the woman both repent sincerely, and she is proven not to be pregnant, then it is permissible for him to marry her and start a new life with her which is pleasing to Allaah.
Q19: I committed illegal sexual intercourse with a woman and married her, and we have been together for years. Now we have both repented sincerely to Allaah. What do I have to do in this case?
A19: So long as the repentance is sincere on both your parts, you have to be married anew, fulfilling the shar’i conditions of having a wali (guardian of the bride) and two witnesses. This does not have to be done in court; if it is done at home, this is sufficient.
Q20: A woman says that she married a righteous man, but she did things before marriage that were displeasing to Allaah. Now her conscience is troubling her, and she asks whether she has to tell her husband about what she did in the past.
A20: Neither spouse is obliged to tell the other about bad things that they might have done in the past. Anyone who has committed wrongful deeds should conceal them as Allaah has concealed him (or her). Sincere repentance is sufficient.
If a man marries a virgin, but it becomes apparent to him at the time of consummation that she is not in fact a virgin because of an immoral act that she committed in the past, he has the right to take back the mahr (dowry) that he had given her and to divorce her. If, however, he sees that she has repented and that Allaah has covered her sin, and he decides to stay with her, then he will be amply rewarded by Allaah.
Q21: What is required of the man who repents from homosexuality?
A21: Both the one who does this and the one to whom it is done must repent sincerely to Allaah. No worse punishments were sent by Allaah to any people than those sent to the people of Lut, because of the enormity and vileness of their sin. These punishments were:
Their eyesight was taken from them and they were left blind and stumbling, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “… So We blinded their eyes…” [al-Qamar 54:37].
The sayhah (torment, awful cry, thunderous shout) was sent against them.
Their houses were turned upside down.
Stones of baked clay, piled up, were rained down upon them, and they were annihilated.
Therefore the Islamic punishment is that anyone found guilty of this sin (sodomy) is to be killed, whether he is married or unmarried. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever you find committing the sin of the people of Lut, kill them, both the one who does it and the one to whom it is done.” (Reported by Abu Dawood, al-Tirmidhi and Ibn Maajah, and classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Irwaa’ al-Ghaleel).
Q22: I have repented to Allaah, but I still have some haraam things in my possession, like musical instruments, tapes and movies. Is it permissible for me to sell them, especially since they are worth a lot of money?
A22: It is not permissible to sell haraam items, and the money earned by selling them is also haraam. The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “When Allaah forbids a thing, He also forbids its price.” (A saheeh hadeeth reported by Abu Dawood). So long as you know that whoever buys these things will use them for haraam purposes, it is not permitted for you to sell them to him, because Allaah has forbidden this in the aayah (interpretation of the meaning): “…do not help one another in sin and transgression…” [al-Maa’idah 5:2]. No matter how much worldly wealth you may lose, that which is with Allaah is better and more lasting, and He will compensate you by His grace and favour.
Q23: I used to be a misguided writer, spreading secularist thought through my stories and articles. I used my poetry to spread promiscuity and immorality. Then Allaah turned to me with His mercy and guided me, bringing me out of darkness into light. How should I repent?
A23: This is a great favour and blessing from Allaah. This is guidance for which we praise Allaah. We ask Him to help you to stand firm and to bless you even more.
Anyone who used to use his words and his pen to wage war on Islam by spreading deviant ideologies, misguided innovations (bid’ah), corruption and immorality is obliged to do the following:
He should announce his repentance from everything he has written, and publicly – through all available means – renounce his former misguided writings and refute all his old ideas, so that his new stance will become well-known and no-one will be able to claim that he was misguided by the writings that he has now disowned. This public announcement is one of the obligations of repentance in such cases, as Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Except those who repent and do righteous deeds, and openly declare (the truth which they concealed). These, I will accept their repentance. And I am the One Who accepts repentance, the Most Merciful.” [al-Baqarah 2:160]
They should use their words and their pens to spread Islam, expending their energy to support the religion of Allaah, teaching the people about the Truth and calling them to it.
They should direct their energies towards counterattacking the enemies of Islam, exposing them and their schemes, and proving their claims wrong, just as he used to support them before. Thus they will become swords in the defence of truth against falsehood. Similarly, anyone who has previously convinced another person – even in a private gathering – of something haraam, such as the idea that riba is not usury as such and is therefore allowed, should go back to that person and explain the truth to him, just as he previously led him astray. In this way he can expiate for his previous sin. And Allaah is the One Who guides.
O slave of Allaah, Allaah has opened the gate of repentance for you, so why not enter it? It was reported that repentance has a gate whose width is like the distance between East and West [according to another report: its width is like the distance travelled in seventy years]. It will not be closed until the sun rises from the West. (Reported by al-Tabaraani in al-Kabeer; see Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2177).
Listen to the call of Allaah: “O My slaves, you err night and day, but I forgive all sins, so ask Me for forgiveness and I will forgive you.” (Reported by Muslim). So why not seek forgiveness?
Allaah stretches forth His hand at night to forgive those who have done wrong during the day, and He stretches forth His hand by day to forgive those who have done wrong during the night. Allaah loves our apologies and pleas, so why not turn to Him?
How beautiful to Allaah are the words of the one who repents: “O Allaah, I ask You by Your power and by my own shame to have mercy on me. I ask You by Your strength and my own weakness, by Your self-sufficiency and my own dependence. To You I submit my lying, sinful forelock. You have many slaves besides me, but I have no Master except You. I have no refuge or escape from You except with You. I beseech you in the manner of a poor and destitute man, I pray to you with the prayer of one who is humble, I call upon you with the supplication of one who is blind and afraid. This is a plea from one whose head is humbled before You, whose nose is in the dust, whose eyes are filled with tears and whose heart has submitted to You.”
It was reported that one of the righteous people was passing through the street when he saw an open door out of which came a boy who was crying and weeping, followed by his mother who was pushing him out. She shut the door in his face, and went back inside. The boy went a short distance away, and stood there, thinking, but he could find no other refuge than the house from which he had been expelled and no one else who would care for him as his mother would. Broken hearted, he went back, and found the door still locked. So he lay down on the doorstep and went to sleep, with the tear marks still streaking his face. A little while later, his mother came out. When she saw him in this state, she could not help herself. She embraced him, kissed him and started to weep, saying: “O my son, where did you go? Who would care for you except me? Didn’t I tell you not to disobey me and not to make me punish you, when Allaah has made me merciful and caring towards you?” Then she picked him up and went back inside.
But the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) told us: “Allaah is more compassionate towards His slaves than this mother towards her child.” (Reported by Muslim).
There is no comparison between a mother’s compassion and the Mercy of Allaah, which encompasses everything. Allaah rejoices when His slave repents to Him, and we can never despair of goodness from a Lord who is rejoices. Allaah rejoices more over the repentance of a slave when he repents to Him than a man who was travelling through the wilderness and stopped to camp awhile in an isolated and dangerous place, but he had his camel by his side, with his food and drink loaded on it. He sought out the shade of a tree, where he lay down and went to sleep. When he woke up, his camel had disappeared, so he went looking for it. He came to a hill and climbed it, but he could not see anything. He climbed another hill and looked around, but he could not see anything. When heat and thirst overcame him, he said: “Let me go back to where I was and sleep there until I die.” He went back to the tree and lay down in its shade, despairing of ever seeing his camel again. Whilst he was lying there, he opened his eyes, and saw his camel standing next to him, with its halter dangling and his food and drink still loaded on it, so he grabbed hold of its halter. Allaah rejoices even more when the believer repents to Him than this man rejoiced over the return of his camel and his supplies.”
(Compiled from saheeh reports; see Tarteeb Saheeh al-Jaami’, 4/368)
You should know that sincere repentance brings contrition and humility before Allaah, and the pleading of the one who repents is dearly beloved to the Lord of the Worlds.
The believing slave still remembers his sin, and is filled with sorrow and regret. He follows his error with so many acts of obedience and goodness that Shaytaan may even say, “Would that I had never led him into this sin in the first place!” Thus some of those who repent may become better after repenting than they ever were before.
Allaah will never forsake His slave who turns to Him in repentance.
Imagine a boy living with his father, who gives him the best food and drink, dresses him in the finest clothes, gives him the best possible upbringing, and gives him money to spend. He takes care of all the boy’s interests. But one day his father sends him on an errand, and an enemy comes and captures the boy, ties him up and carries him off to enemy territory. Now the way he is treated is the opposite of the kind treatment his father gave him. Whenever he remembers his father’s kindness, his heart is filled with anguish and grief because of the blessings that he has lost. It so happens that while he is still a prisoner of the enemy, and about to be executed by them, he suddenly turns towards his father’s home, and he sees his father standing nearby. He runs to him and throws himself into his arms, crying “O my father, O my father! Look what has happened to your son!” with tears streaming down his cheeks. He clings tightly to his father even though the enemy runs after him to snatch him back, and catches up with him.
Do you think the father will give the boy back to the enemy and abandon him? What then do you think of One Who is more merciful towards His slaves than any father or mother towards a child? How do you think Allaah will respond when a slave flees from his enemies and throws himself at His door, rolling in the dust and weeping, saying “O Lord, have mercy upon the one who has no one to show him mercy except You, no supporter except You, no place of refuge except You, no helper except You, one who is poor and in need of You, one who beseeches You. You are his place of refuge, You are his Source of protection. There is no escape or refuge from You except with You…”?
Let us move on, then, to good and righteous deeds, to the company of righteous people, to avoiding deviation after having been guided aright. May Allaah be with you.
Short Temper
Anger is a tendency that comes from the Shaitan. Only Allah (SWT) knows how much evil and sin results from it. Hence Islam has a great deal to say about this negative characteristic and the Prophet (SAW) described remedies for ridding oneself of this problem and limiting its effects. These include the following:
Seeking refuge with Allah from the Shaitan. Sulaymaan ibn Sard said: “I was sitting with the Prophet (SAW), and there were two men swearing at one another. One of them was red in the face and the veins of his neck were standing out. The Prophet (SAW) said: ‘I know a word which, if only he would say it, this (anger) would leave him. If he said, “A’oodhu billaahi min al-shaytaan (I seek refuge with Allah from the Shaitan),”, this [anger] would leave him.’” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 6/377).
He (SAW) also said:
“If a man gets angry and says ‘A’oodhu billah (I seek refuge with Allah),’ his anger will cease.” (Saheeh al-Jaami’ al-Sagheer, no. 695).
Keeping quiet. The Messenger (SAW) said:
“If any one of you gets angry, let him keep quiet.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, al-Musnad, 1/239; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 693, 4027).
Anger usually makes a person lose control, often to the extent that he may utter words of kufr (Allah forbid), or curses, or the word of divorce (talaq) which will destroy his family, or foul language that will earn him the enmity of others. Keeping quiet is the way to avoid all of these evils.
Keeping still. The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said:
“If any one of you gets angry, let him sit down if he is standing. If his anger goes away, (that is good), otherwise let him lie down.”
The narrator of this hadeeth was Abu Dharr (RA), who told the following story: he was watering his animals at a trough, when some other people came along. He said, “Who among you will help Abu Dharr to water his animals and ....?” A man said, “I will,” but he broke the trough. Abu Dharr was standing, so he sat down, then he lay down. Someone asked him, “O Abu Dharr, why did you sit down then lie down?” He said, “Because the Messenger of Allah (SAW) said … [and quoted the Hadith].” (The Hadith with the whole story is reported in Musnad Ahmad, 5/152. See also Saheeh al-Jaami’, no. 694).
According to another report, Abu Dharr (RA) was watering his animals at a trough when another man made him angry, so he sat down… (Fayd al-Qadeer al-Mannaawi, 1/408).
One of the benefits of this Prophetic teaching is that it prevents the angry person from doing something crazy and out of control. An angry person could inflict harm or even kill – as we shall see shortly – or he could destroy property and so on. Sitting down makes it less likely that he will explode in this fashion, and lying down makes it even less likely that he will do something reckless or harmful. Al-‘Allaamah al-Khattaabi (may Allah have mercy on him) said in his commentary on Abu Dawood: “The one who is standing is ready to move and destroy things. The one who is sitting is less likely to do so, and the one who is lying is not able to do anything of the sort. It seems that the Prophet (SAW) commanded the angry person to sit down or lie down in order to prevent him from doing anything that he would later regret. And Allaah knows best.” (Sunan Abi Dawood wa ma’ahu ma’aalim al-sunan, 5/141)
Remembering the advice of the Messenger of Allah (SAW). Abu Hurayrah (SAW) reported that a man came to the Prophet (SAW) and said: “Advise me.” He said: “Do not become angry.” The man repeated his request several times, and each time the response was, “Do not become angry.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, Fath al-Baari, 10/465).
According to another report, the man said, “I thought about what the Prophet (SAW) had said, and I realized that anger is the source of all evil.” (Musnad Ahmad, 5/373).
“Do not get angry, and
Remembering what Allah (SWT) has promised to those who avoid the causes of anger and strive to control themselves is the best way to extinguish the flames of anger. The Prophet (SAW) has told us about this great reward:
“Whoever suppresses his anger at the time when he could express it openly, Allah will fill his heart with contentment on the Day of Resurrection.” (Reported by al-Tabaraani, 12/453; Saheeh al-Jaami’, 176).
Another immense reward is described in the Hadith: “Whoever suppresses his anger when he is able to vent it, Allah will call him before all the people on the Day of Resurrection and let him choose whoever of the hoor al-‘iyn he wishes.” (Reported by Abu Dawood, 4777, and others. Classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 6518).
Knowing the high rank and distinction that is bestowed upon the one who controls himself. The Messenger of Allah (SAW) said,
“The strong man is not the one who can wrestle another to the ground; the strong man is the one who can control himself when he is angry.” (Reported by Ahmad, 2/236. The hadeeth is agreed upon).
The more angry a person gets, the more highly valued is his self-control. The Prophet (SAW) said:
“The real strong man is the one who gets intensely angry, so that his face reddens and his hair stands on end, but he suppresses his anger.” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 5/367; classed as hasan in Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3859).
The Prophet (SAW) used an incident that took place in front of his Sahabah as an opportunity to reinforce this lesson. Anas (RA) reported that the Prophet (SAW) passed by some people who were wrestling, and asked, “What is this?” They told him, “So-and-so is a strong man. No one challenges him but he beats them at wrestling.” The Prophet (SAW) said,
“Shall I not tell you who is stronger than him? A man who is mistreated by another, but suppresses his anger, has defeated his own shaytan and the shaytan of the one who mistreated him.” (Reported by al-Bazzaar. Ibn Hajar said that its isnaad is hasan. Al-Fath, 10/519).
Following the guidance of the Prophet (SAW) with regard to anger.
He is our example, and his attitude towards anger is clearly demonstrated in many ahaadeeth, of which one of the most famous was reported by Anas (RA), who said: “I was walking with the Messenger of Allah (SAW), and he was wearing a Najraani cloak with a stiff collar. He was accosted by a Bedouin who pulled his cloak roughly. I looked at the Prophet’s (SAW) neck and saw the marks left by the collar. The Bedouin said: ‘O Muhammad, give me some of the wealth of Allah that you have!’ The Prophet (SAW) turned to him and smiled, and ordered that he should be given something.” (Reported by al-Bazzaar. Ibn Hajar said that its isnaad is hasan).
Another way in which we may follow the example of the Prophet (SAW) is by making our anger for the sake of Allah (SWT), when the limits set by Allah (SWT) are violated. This is the worthy kind of anger. The Prophet (SAW) became angry when he was told about the imaam who was putting people off praying because his recitation was too long. He became angry when he saw a curtain decorated with pictures of animate creatures in ‘Aisha’s (RA) house. He became angry when Usamah (RA) spoke to him about the Makhzoomi woman who was guilty of theft, and said to him, “Are you interceding concerning one of the punishments prescribed by Allah?” He became angry when he was asked questions he disliked. His anger was only for the sake of Allah (SWT).
Knowing that suppressing anger is one of the signs of taqwa (piety).
Allah (SWT) has praised certain people in His Book, and the Prophet (SAW) highly commended them. There have been prepared for them Gardens as wide as the heavens and the earth. One of their characteristics is that they
“… spend (in Allah’s Cause - deeds of charity, alms, etc.) in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allah loves Al-Muhsinun (the good-doers).” (Al-Imran 3:134)
These are the people whose good qualities Allaah has mentioned, people whom others admire and want to catch up with. Another of their characteristics is that
“...when they are angry, they forgive.” (Ash-Shura 42:37)
Paying attention when one is reminded.
Anger is something natural, with regard to which people differ. It may be very hard for a person not to get angry, but a sincere person, if he becomes angry and is reminded about Allah (SWT), will remember Him and will stay within the limits that He has prescribed. Some examples of this follow.
Ibn ‘Abbaas (RA) reported that a man asked permission to see ‘Umar (RA), and permission was given. The man said, “O son of al-Khattaab, by Allah, you are not giving us much, and you are not ruling us fairly!” ‘Umar (RA) became so angry that he was about to hit the man, but al-Hirr ibn Qays (who was among the people sitting with ‘Umar) said, “O Ameer al-Mu’mineen, Allah said to His Prophet (SAW):
'Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish (i.e., don’t punish them).’ (Al-A'raf 7:199),
and this man is one of the foolish.” By Allah, ‘Umar (RA) did not take the matter any further when this was recited to him. He adhered to the words of Allah (SWT) (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 8/304).
This is how the Muslim should be, not like the evil hypocrite who, when he got angry and was told about the hadeeth of the Prophet (SAW), and was advised by one of the Companions of the Prophet (SAW) to seek refuge with Allaah from the Shaytaan, said, “Do you think there is something wrong with me? Do you think I am crazy? Go away!” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, al-Fath, 1/465).
We seek refuge with Allah (SWT) from failure. Ameen!
Knowing the bad effects of anger.
The bad effects of anger are many, harming both the self and others. A person may swear and utter obscenities, and may hit others, lashing out with no control. It may even lead to killing. The following story contains a lesson.
‘Alqamah ibn Waa’il reported that his father (may Allah be pleased with him) told him: “I was sitting with the Messenger of Allah (SAW) when a man came along, leading another by a twisted rope. He said, ‘O Messenger of Allah, this man killed my brother.’ The Messenger of Allah (SAW) asked, ‘Did you kill him?’ He said, ‘Yes, I killed him.’ He asked, ‘How did you kill him?’ He said, ‘He and I were hitting trees to make the leaves fall (so we could use them for animal fodder). He swore at me, so I got angry and hit him on the side of the head with an axe, and I killed him.’…” (Reported by Muslim in al-Saheeh, 1307).
Even if anger does not go as far as this, there may still be broken bones and injuries. If the person with whom a man is angry runs away, he may turn his anger upon himself, tearing his clothes, slapping his cheeks, falling unconscious, or breaking dishes and furniture.
One of the worst things that result from anger and cause social ills and family breakdown is talaq (divorce). Ask many of those who have divorced their wives how and when it happened, and they will tell you, “It was in a moment of anger.”
Lives are shattered and children are lost as a result. Feelings of regret and failure haunt people’s minds, and life becomes bitter – all because of anger. If only they had remembered Allah (SWT) and come back to their senses, restrained their anger and sought refuge with Allah (SWT) from the Shaitan, what happened would not have happened. Going against shari'ah only ever results in loss.
The physical harm that results from anger is very serious, as the doctors describe, such as thrombosis, high blood pressure, fatal heart attacks, diabetes, etc.
We ask Allah (SWT) for good health. Ameen!
The angry person should think about himself at the time of anger.
If the angry person could see himself in the mirror at the time of anger, he would despise himself and how he looks when his color changes, he shakes uncontrollably, his face reddens, the veins of his neck stand out and he behaves like a crazy person. He would be put off by his own appearance, but it is well known that the ugliness that exists inside a person is even worse than any that may appear on the outside. How happy the Shaitan must be when someone is in this state!
We seek refuge with Allah (SWT) from the Shaitan and from failure. Ameen!
Du’aa’.
This is the believer’s constant weapon. He asks his Lord to rid him of evils, problems and bad characteristics, and he seeks refuge with Allah (SWT) from falling into the pit of kufr and wrongdoing caused by anger, because one of the three qualities which will save a person from Hellfire is being just and fair both at times of contentment and at times of anger. (Saheeh al-Jaami’, 3039). One of the du’aa’s of the Prophet (SAW) was:
“Allaahumma bi ‘ilmika’l-ghaybi wa qudratika ‘ala’l-khalqi aheeni ma ‘alimta’l-hayaata khayran li, wa tawaffani idha ‘alimta’l-wafaata khayran li. Allaahumma wa as’aluka khashyataka fi’l-ghaybi wa’l-shahaadah, wa as’aluka kalimat al-ikhlaasi fi’l-ridaa wa’l-ghadab, wa as’aluka’l-qasda fi’l-faqri wa’l-ghinaa, wa as’aluka na’eeman la yanfad, wa qurrata ‘aynin la tanqati’, wa as’aluka’l-ridaa bi’l-qadaa’, wa as’aluka bard al-‘aysh ba’d al-mawt, wa as’aluka ladhdhat al-nadhr ila wajhika wa’l-shawqa ilaa liqaa’ik, fi ghayri darraa’ mudirrah wa laa fitnati mudillah. Allaahumma zayyinnaa bi zeenati’l-eemaan wa’j’alnaa hudaatan muhtadeen"
(O Allah, by Your knowledge of the Unseen and Your power over all creation, keep me alive so long as You know life is good for me, and bring about my death when you know death is good for me. O Allah, I ask You to make me fear You in secret and in the open, I ask You to make me speak sincerely at times of contentment and at times of anger, I ask You to make me be moderate in poverty and in wealth, I ask You for a blessing that does not end, contentment that never ceases, and for acceptance of Your decree. I ask You for a good life after death, and I ask You for the joy of looking upon Your face and the longing to meet You, with no harmful adversity or misleading trial (fitnah). O Allah, adorn us with the beauty of faith, guide us and let us be a means of guidance for others).” (Reported by al-Nisaa’i in al-Sunan, 3/55; and by al-Haakim. Saheeh al-Jaami’, 1301).
CHILD AND FAMILY
The Importance of Islamic Tarbiyah
Tarbiyah in Islaam is very important, for indeed all of the Deen is based upon tarbiyah
(i.e. the education and upbringing of the people). This starts first of all with the education and training of our own selves, then of our families, and then of the community at large.
But this tarbiyah is most important with respect to our children, so that they are brought up upon the correct path of Islaam. Because of this, many of the scholars take care in discussing this aspect of tarbiyah more so than the others.
After the benefit of al-Islaam and our very creation, from the best of benefits is that of having children. We see their benefits both in this world and after we have passed away. As for the benefits in this world - when a person becomes old and unable to earn a livelihood, all of his friends and companions leave him alone and it is his children who look after and care for him, bearing his problems and burdens. As for after his death, then a person benefits from his children as the Prophet (s) said: "When the son of Aadam passes away, all of his deeds are stopped except for three. Some kind of charity that is continuous, or knowledge which the people are benefiting from, or a righteous son who is praying for him."
Also from the benefits of having children is that if they were to pass away whilst still children, they will intercede for their parents. This is authentically reported from the Prophet (s), who said: "There is no Muslim individual, male or female, who has three of his children pass away whilst they are young and he is patient with that, except that they will come and intercede for him on the Day of Judgment." So 'Umar (r) asked, 'What about two [children]?' Upon this the Prophet (s) said, "It is the same for two [children]." (Al-Bazzaar, al-Haakim. Sh. al-Albaanee mentions it in his book, Kitaabul-Janaa-iz)
As for the person who has one child who passes away and he is patient with this, seeking his reward from Allah (S), then he shall also find a great reward with Him.
As in a hadeeth wherein it is reported that the Prophet (s) used to sit down in his sitting place and his companions would sit in front of him to seek benefit and learn from him. From amongst them was a man who had a small boy; he used to come to the Prophet (s) from behind his back by way of respect, then he used to sit in front of him and sit his son in front of the Prophet (s).
The Prophet (s) asked, "Do you love this child of yours?" The man replied, "Yes, and may Allah cause you to love him also." Then it happened that this child passed away, and the man was so sad that he used to refrain from coming to sit with the Prophet (s). So the Prophet (s) asked his companions about this man saying, "Why is it that he no longer comes to my sitting place?" And this was from the Sunnah of the Prophet (s), that if he had people who would come to him and then stop coming, he would ask about their condition and their affairs. So the companions told him that the man's son had passed away and that he was sad because of that. So the Prophet (s) went to meet this man and asked him, "What has happened to your son?" And the man told him that he had passed away. So the Prophet (s) said, "Do you wish that your son could be here with you spending time with you, or do you prefer that your son would reach
Also from the benefits of having children is that if one has daughters and is patient with them, bringing them up correctly, then for him is a great reward from Allah. Our mother Aa'ishah (r) said, "A woman with two daughters and who was very poor came to my door requesting charity. All I had was three dates, so I gave them to this woman and her two daughters. The woman gave a date to each of her daughters and kept the third date for herself. But when the two daughters had finished their dates, they both looked up to their mother wanting the date which she had. So she felt mercy for her two daughters and split the date into two halves, she gave a half to each of her daughters and then she went away. When the Prophet (s) came back I informed him about what had happened. He (s) said, 'Anyone who has daughters and is good in bringing them up, then they will be as a barrier between him and the Hell-Fire'." (Bukhaaree & Muslim)
It is obligatory for the parents to take care of their children as the responsibility for them is upon their shoulders. As the Prophet (s) said, "All of you are shepherds and will are responsible for his flock." Unfortunately, many of the people look down upon this affair of bringing up the children correctly and consider it as a small matter and unimportant, instead busying themselves which affairs such as politics and those things which it may be beyond their ability to reach. They look to those things which are seen as more important and so look down upon the affair of raising their children correctly.
In this they are mistaken, as whoever the Imam or the leader of the believers may be, even if he was the most righteous of all righteous people and the most just of all rulers, if a person does not take care of their own affairs then no-one else is going to come into their house and look after their children for them. And if this Imam was the worst of all the people, yet a person was to take care of their own family as is his responsibility, then how is his harm and his condition going to affect that person? Allah (S) says, "Verily! Allah will not change the good condition of a people as long as they do not change their state of goodness themselves." (Suratu-Ra'd [13]:11) So it is upon us to change our own condition and the condition of our own families, and then to look to the condition of our communities and the community of the Muslims at large. For if we were to neglect this responsibility then we would never achieve the correct tarbiyah - training, upbringing and education - of our societies.
Indeed the Book of Allah and the Sunnah of the Prophet (s) encourage us to bring up our children correctly; ordering us with righteousness and good conduct ourselves as well as ordering us to prevent our families from falling into that which would result in their own destruction. As Allah (S) says, "O you who believe! Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire (Hell) whose fuel is men and stones." (Suratu-Tahrim [66]:6) And He (S) says, "And enjoin Prayer on your family, and be patient in offering them (i.e. the Prayers)." (Suratu-Ta-Ha [20]:132) The Prophet (s) said, "Order your children with Salaah when they are seven years old, and beat them upon it (i.e. force them to do so by hitting them) when they are ten years old, and (also) separate them in their sleeping place." So by the preceding Ayaat and hadeeth, Allah (S) and the Prophet (s) teach the believers about the importance of Salaah and worship, and also in the hadeeth the Prophet (s) is teaching his Ummah about how to live this life free from all types of doubts and misconceptions, by avoiding those places and situations where such doubts and misconceptions may arise. So the order is that one should raise one's children upon the most blessed and praiseworthy of characteristics.
So what follows are some practical steps in bringing up the family correctly.
SEEKING RIGHTEOUS CHILDREN
When an individual wants to get married, they should have the intention to have - and ask Allah to give them - righteous children. They should be patient upon this and seek their children with the correct intention i.e. to increase the number of the Prophet's (s) Ummah, and seek Allah's reward in this life and the Hereafter by way of his children. As the Prophet (s) said, "Marry those women who are loving and fertile, for verily I want to be amongst those (Prophets) who have the most followers on the Day of Judgement." So when a person gets married he should seek children with the intention to have many children which will go towards making up the Ummah of the Prophet (s) and that these children may become righteous slaves of Allah (S) so that he may benefit from them in this world and the Hereafter. This is because the intention has a special and important place with regard to the outcome, as the Prophet (s) said, "Verily, every action is by its intention." So if one has the correct intention at the beginning of the action, then he has its correct fruits at the end.
SETTING A GOOD EXAMPLE
The parent should be a good and the best example for their children. They should hasten to do all good and, likewise, hasten to leave all evil. This is because children follow the example of their parents as they love them and respect and admire them. So the parents are the greatest of all examples for their children. Therefore, whatever the parents are upon, the children follow them. It is not possible, however one may try, to hide one's evil characteristics from their children. A person may go into his home, closing the door behind them, but it is the children who know the reality of their affairs. They know how their character truly is, what they watch and what they see, and they know their situation perfectly. So we should try and be good examples to our children; having the best characteristics, being good towards the people, and remaining upright in our Deen.
PLACING IMPORTANCE UPON THE DEEN
The parent should make the most important affair in his life and that of his child the Religion. They should raise their child to know that the most important aspect of his life is that he be upright in his Deen, correcting it and clinging to it firmly. Allah (S) said, "And this (submission to Allah, Islaam) was enjoined by Ibraaheem upon his sons and by Ya'qoob (as), (saying), 'O my sons! Allah has chosen for you the (true) Religion, then die not except in the Faith of Islaam." (Suratul-Baqarah [2]:132) And He (S) says, "And he made it (i.e. Laa ilaha illAllah - none has the right to be worshipped but Allah Alone) a Word lasting among his offspring (True Monotheism), that they may turn back (i.e. repent to Allah or receive admonition)." (Suratu-Zukhruf [43]:28) So this should be our greatest concern with regard to our children, that we make clear to them the importance of their Religion and their being upright. We should not be concerned with their Dunya i.e. that they bring home food or drink or wealth, rather we should be most concerned with their remaining upright Muslims.
After this, the believer should make du'aa to Allah (S) and supplicate to Him that He guide his children and make them upright, for indeed there is no power nor strength except in Allah. No-one has the ability to guide his children himself, or to keep them upon the straight path, rather this is in the Hands of Allah. So one should make du'aa to Allah (S) as His prophets did before. Allah says that the believers say, "Our Lord! Bestow on us from our wives and our offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and make us leaders for the Muttaqoon (i.e. pious and righteous persons who fear Allah much [abstain from all kinds of sins and evil deeds which He has forbidden] and love Allah much [perform all kinds of good deeds which He has ordained])." (Suratul-Furqan [25]:74) And also Prophet Ibraaheem (as) mentioned in a long du'aa, "O my Lord! Make me one who offers prayers perfectly, and (also) from my offspring, our Lord! And accept my invocation." (Suratu-Ibrahim [14]:40) So we should follow this example of the prophets in making du'aa to Allah and taking the necessary steps in educating and bringing up our children upon this Deen, and asking Allah to keep them upright in their Religion. The Ayah which was previously mentioned is general for all of the believers. That is, that when one reaches the age of 40 he should make du'aa for his parents and that Allah should keep him upon the Guidance, and he also makes du'aa that Allah keeps his children upright and correct their affairs.
SHOWING LOVE & KINDNESS TOWARDS ONE'S CHILDREN
The parent should control his affair with love, kindness and softness, and should not always use harshness and beating to bring up his children. Rather he should make his way to be primarily a loving and concerned way. However, if the situation requires that he should also use harshness and hardness and even hitting his children, then he should do so as and when the situation requires it, but he should not make this his way i.e. that he is always hard and harsh towards his children. We should not be like those people who are always hard upon their children as this may lead them towards further corruption and going astray. Neither should we be like many of the Europeans are i.e. that they leave their children without any discipline so that they follow whatever way they like and do whatever they like. Rather we should take the middle course, sometimes using harshness and sometimes softness, according to the situation. We should always try to exercise balance in raising our children, balancing their affairs correctly and making the uppermost characteristic that of kindness, softness and mercy.
TEACHING GOOD CHARACTER
The parent should raise his children upon good character from a young age. He should teach them the Qur'aan, the Seerah of the Prophet (s) and that of the Companions also (ra). One should not leave his children to continue making mistakes saying that he will correct them when they get older, because indeed it becomes increasingly more difficult to correct a person when he has grown up upon incorrect actions and bad characteristics. As a poet said, "Whoever grows up upon something, he grows old upon that same thing." So we should teach our children from a young age the correct 'aqeedah and belief, for example that Allah (S) is above His Throne, and we should teach them love for the Prophet (s) and his Companions (ra). We should also teach them aspects of good character, like being courageous, kind, generous and modest etc.
Then if one of our children makes a mistake, we should point out this mistake to them and explain that the action is wrong, not leaving them and saying 'they are just children' or that we will tell them when they grow older. This is because of the saying, "Whoever grows up upon something, he grows old upon that that same thing." And from the guidance of the Prophet (s) is that he used to train and bring up the children from a young age upon good manners and character. As can be seen in the hadeeth of Hasan (r), in which he narrates how he once took a date from the dates of sadaqah, and the Prophet (s) shouted at him and told him to take the date out of his mouth. The Prophet (s) explained to him that the dates were for sadaqah, and that sadaqah was not allowed for the Prophet (s) or his family. So the Prophet (s) did not leave Hasan alone, rather he reprimanded him for what he did and explained to him the correct way, using intelligence and Hikmah. Likewise in the hadeeth of the son of Umm Salamah, who narrated that he used to stay in the house of the Prophet (s), and that he used to eat in an incorrect way i.e. from everywhere in the plate. So the Prophet (s) said to him, "O boy! Mention Allah's Name i.e. say 'Bismillah', eat with your right hand and eat that which is in front of you. So this Sahaabah went on to narrate that he continued to practise this etiquette of eating until that day (i.e. until he had become older). This shows that the Prophet (s) would correct the children by pointing out their mistakes, and also he did so in such a way that they would continue upon the correct way which he had taught them until they became older.
EXERCISING JUSTICE WITH REGARD TO ONE'S CHILDREN
The parent should not oppress or wrong any of his children. He should not show one of his children due favour more so than the other, by giving him more than his other children or praising him more than any of the others. Indeed this type of oppression and favouritism can be a reason for the children swaying from the correct path and developing personal problems later on in life. The Prophet (s) said, "Fear Allah and be just with regard to your children." Indeed, being just can positively affect the children's tarbiyah, just as being unjust can have negative affects upon their tarbiyah. Of these negative effects is that the child may feel that if he cannot find justice with his own parents, then who can he find justice with? And he may carry this problem and this feeling in his heart all of his life.
SPENDING UPON ONE'S CHILDREN
The parents, both the mother and the father, should spend upon their children. They should take the necessary steps to earn money and spend upon their children correctly. Indeed, anything which one spends upon his family with the correct intention will have a reward for it. As in the hadeeth of Sa'd ibn Ma'aadh (r), who narrated that the Prophet (s) said, "There is nothing that you spend upon your families, even the food that you put into the mouth of your wife, except that you will get a reward for it." Also there is a hadeeth which is collected by Muslim, which states the importance of spending upon the family and that it is the best of all actions with which one draws nearer to Allah (S). In this hadeeth the Prophet (s) said, "Two dinaars which you spend in the way of Allah, or two dinaars which you spend by way of sadaqah (charity), or two dinaars which you give to the miskeen (poor), or the two dinaars which you give to your family - with which of these is the greatest reward? Indeed the greatest of these as regards reward is that dinaar which you spend upon your family."
So, in conclusion, everyone should take care of his family, for if it were the case that everyone in society were to take care of the upbringing of their families and their financial needs, then this would be good for the society as a whole. And if everyone were to leave the affairs of their families and their children, then this would lead to the corruption of the society and poverty would be widespread. By spending upon our families and taking care of their tarbiyah, this is how we train them and help them to remain upright upon this Deen of Al-Islaam.
The Evils of Backbiting
Backbiting – mere words – but they are words that bring upon the one who utters them shame and ignominy and that consign him to the Fire. Such a person has given in to his vain desires and succumbed to his destructive tendencies.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "A man might speak a word without thinking about its implications, but because of it, he will plunge into the Hellfire further than the distance between the east and west." [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî (6477) and Sahîh Muslim (2988)]
A Muslim utters a word whereby he describes his brother Muslim in a negative way – either explicitly or implicitly – and it plunges the speaker into clear and evident loss. And what could be a greater loss than for a person to say something that does nothing for him but rob him of his blessings and of the rewards for his good deeds? Then, if his good deeds run out, the sins of the one he has backbitten are taken from that person and foisted upon the speaker until he is hurled by them into Hell.
A Muslim utters a mere word upon his tongue thoughtlessly, without any consideration, and without thinking that he will be taken to task for it. Indeed, it is something about which many people are heedless.
Once Mu`âdh b. Jabal, the illustrious Companion, asked the Prophet (peace be upon him) to inform him of some good work that would admit him into
Mu`âdh said: "Certainly."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) took hold of his own tongue and said: "Restrain yourself from this."
Mu`âdh then asked: "O Prophet of Allah! Are we held to task for the things that we say?"
The Prophet (peace be upon him) replied: "May your mother be bereaved of you, O Mu`âdh! Does anything topple people headlong into the Hellfire save the harvests of their tongues?" [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (2616) and Sunan Ibn Mâjah (3973)]
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Whoever can guarantee to me what is between his two lips and what is between his two legs, I can guarantee for him
The Prophet (peace be upon him), when he said "what is between his two lips" was alluding to the words that a person speaks. To guarantee it means to only speak what Allah is pleased with. When he said " and what is between his legs" he was alluding to sexual relations, meaning that the person guarantees that he will not engage in any unlawful sexual activity that is prohibited by Allah.
Backbiting can be defined as the utterance of words whereby one mentions his fellow Muslim in a bad way or mentions him in a manner that he would be displeased with. It is called backbiting because a person generally berates another person in that person's absence.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) defines backbiting in the following way, and his definition is preferred over any other:
He said: "Do you know what backbiting is?"
They said: "Allah and His Messenger know best."
He said: "It is to mention about your brother something that he would dislike having mentioned about him." [Sahîh Muslim (2589)]
Al-Nawawî comments [al-Adhkâr]:
Mentioning about your brother something that he would dislike includes what concerns his body, his religious practice, his worldly station, his physical appearance, his moral character, his wealth, his parents, his children, his spouse, his servant, his clothing, his activities, his smiles and frowns and anything else that pertains to him. It does not matter if you mention it explicitly by word or implicitly by indication or a gesture… This includes the likes of saying "O Allah, pardon us all!" "O Allah, forgive us!" "Allah keep us safe!" All of this is backbiting.
The Prophet goes on in the same hadîth to explain the difference between backbiting and slander. He said: "It is to mention about your brother something that he would dislike having mentioned about him."
Someone enquired: "O Messenger of Allah! How do you see it if what I said about him is true?"
He replied: "If what you said about him is true, then you have backbitten him. If what you said about him is false, then you have slandered him." [ Sahîh Muslim (2589)]
Slander is a false statement of enormous sinfulness deserving of severe punishment. Allah says: "And those who malign believing men and women undeservedly bear upon themselves the guilt of slander and a manifest sin." [ Sûrah al-Ahzâb: 58]
Al-Hasan al-Basrî said: "Backbiting has three manifestations, all of which are discussed in Allah's Book. They are: backbiting, tale-telling, and slander. As for backbiting, it is to say about your brother something that is true about him. Tale-telling is to say something that you have heard about him. Slander is to say about him what is not true."
The prohibition of backbiting
Backbiting is prohibited in Islam. This is a point of consensus among all Muslims, as mentioned by al-Nawawî. Al-Qurtubî says that it is agreed upon that backbiting is a major sin, because of the severe threats of punishment levied by the Qur'ân and Sunnah against the one who perpetrates this sin.
The evidence prohibiting backbiting is considerable.
Evidence from the Qur'ân
1. Allah says: "O you who believe! Shun much suspicion; for lo! some suspicion is a crime. And spy not, neither backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? You would abhor that. And keep your duty (to Allah). Lo! Allah is Relenting, Merciful." [ Sûrah al-Hujurât: 12]
Ibn `Abbâs comments on this verse, saying: "Allah prohibits backbiting a believer with the least thing, just as he prohibits eating carrion."
Abû Ya`lâ discusses the comparison that this verse makes between backbiting and eating carrion, saying: "This emphasizes just how prohibited backbiting is. Eating the flesh of the dead is severely proscribed. It is also something for which people have a natural abhorrence, and people should have the same loathing for backbiting as they have for eating such flesh."
2. Allah says: "O you who believe! Let not some men among you deride others who may be better than they (are), nor let women (deride) women who may be better than they are; neither defame one another, nor insult one another by nicknames. Evil is a bad name after faith." [ Sûrah al-Hujurât: 11]
Ibn Kathîr, in his commentary on this verse, says about Allah's words nor defame one another:
Sneering and defamation of people is condemnable and accursed behavior. Allah says: "Woe to every sneering defamer." [Sûrah Humazah: 1] Sneering is carried out through one's actions and defamation is carried out through one's words.
Al-Shinqîtî says: "Sneering is by way of action, like rolling one's eyes or making a show of contempt or derision. Defamation takes place by way of one's words and includes backbiting."
3. Allah says: "Woe to every sneering defamer." [Sûrah Humazah: 1]
We have already discussed its meaning. We should note that he verse starts off by proclaiming woe upon those people. The Arabic word used here is wayl. It is a word that implies a threat, conveying the meaning of debasement, punishment, and perdition. Wayl is also the name of a valley in Hell that Allah has set aside for sinners who are obstinate in their sinfulness and for unbelievers who are also wanton sinners.
4. "Neither obey thou each feeble oath-monger; detractor, going about with slander." [Sûrah al-Qalam: 10-11]
Al-Shawkânî describes the "detractor" mentioned in the verse to mean one who goes about backbiting people.
Ibn Taymiyah says about this verse: "(It tells us) that the liar and oath-invoker are not to be obeyed, telling us by implication not to conduct ourselves in the same manner. Indeed, prohibiting the acceptance of the words of those who exhibit shameful moral conduct is a more eloquent and emphatic reprimand than to merely prohibit the conduct itself."
Evidence from the Sunnah
1. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Your blood, your property and your honour are sacred to you like the sacredness of this day in this place in this month." [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî (1741) and Sahîh Muslim (1679)]
Ibn al-Mundhîr makes the following observation: "The Prophet (peace be upon him) had prohibited backbiting in his farewell address to his followers, linking its prohibition to the prohibition of transgressing against another's life or property. Then he emphasized how prohibited it is by declaring its prohibition to be as the sacredness of the sacred land and the sacred month."
2. The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "One of the greatest of the major sins is to stretch out one's tongue without right against the honor of a Muslim." [Sunan Abî Dâwûd (4877)]
3. `Â'ishah relates that she said to the Prophet (peace be upon him): "It should tell you enough about Safiyyah that she is short."
To this he replied: "You have said a word that if it was to be mixed with the water of the sea, it would contaminate it." [Sunan al-Tirmidhî (2502) and Sunan Abî Dâwûd (4875)]
Al-Mubârakfûrî, in his commentary on this hadîth, writes: "It means that backbiting, if it were something that could be mixed with the water of the sea, it would noticeably contaminate it in spite of the vast and copious amount of water that the sea contains. How then is it going to be when it is mixed with our paltry good deeds?
4. Two Companions once criticized a man who had been punished for committing adultery. The Prophet (peace be upon him) was traveling and he passed by the carcass of a donkey. He said: "Where are those two people? Get down and eat from the flesh of this donkey!"
They said: "O Prophet of Allah! Who would eat this?"
He said: "What the two of you have recently done by defaming the honor of your brother is far worse than eating from this." [ Sunan Abî Dâwûd (4428)]
Some words of the Pious Predecessors
`Amr b. al-`Âs, while traveling with his companions, once passed by the dead, rotting body of a mule and said: "I swear by Allah, it is better that one of you should eat from this until he fills his stomach than for him to eat the flesh of a Muslim ."
Ka`b al-Ahbâr said: "Backbiting nullifies a person's good deeds."
Al-Hasan al-Basrî said: "I swear by Allah, backbiting is swifter in consuming the religion of a Muslim than a gangrenous infection is in consuming the human body."
Sufyân b. `Uyaynah said: "Backbiting is worse than a debt. A debt can be paid out, but backbiting cannot."
`Ali b. al-Husayn once heard two people engaged in backbiting and said: "Keep away from backbiting, for it is the broth of the mongrels among people."
Reasons why people fall into the sin of backbiting others
1. Weakness of faith and impiety make a person likely to speak thoughtlessly and carelessly and transgress against others when he speaks.
When `Â'ishah was accused of impropriety, her co-wife Zaynab bint Jahsh was asked about her. Zaynab said: "O Messenger of Allah! I safeguard my hearing and my sight. I know nothing but good."
`Â'ishah later commented: "She was my rival among the wives of Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him). Allah restrained her by way of her piety." [Sahîh al-Bukhârî (2661)]
2. Another reason that people participate in backbiting is on account of the company they keep. They backbite people to please their peers and acquaintances. Allah says, conveying to us the words of the denizens of Hell: "We used to speak in vain with those who speak in vain." [Sûrah al-Mudaththir: 45]
3. Another reason is hatred, enmity, and envy towards others. Ibn Taymiyah says: "Some people are inspired by envy to backbite, and in doing so, combine between two ignoble traits: backbiting and envy."
4. Love of the world and the pursuit of status and power make people backbite others. Fudayl b. `Iyâd said: "No one has ever loved leadership without envying, transgressing, tracking down the faults of others, and loathing to hear anyone else mentioned in a good way."
How to rid ourselves of this ignoble trait
1. We can protect ourselves from speaking ill of others by cultivating our fear of Allah and our sense of shame before of our Lord. This can be achieved by reflecting often upon the verses of the Qur'ân and the hadîth of our Prophet (peace be upon him) that speak about Allah's punishment, that encourage us to repent, and that warn us against evil deeds.
Allah says: "Or do they think that We do not hear their secrets and their private counsels? Indeed we do and our messengers are by them to record." [Sûrah al-Zukhruf: 80]
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "Feel shame before Allah as you ought to feel shame before him. So guard the head and what it contains, guard the stomach and what you put in it, and think upon death and returning to dust." [ Sunan al-Tirmidhî (2458)]
2. We can reflect upon just how much we lose every time we utter some bad words about another person.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) once asked his Companions: "Do you know who is bankrupt?"
They replied: "The person among us who is bankrupt is the one who possesses neither money nor provision."
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The one who is bankrupt from among my followers is he who comes on the Day of Resurrection with prayer, charity, and fasting to his credit. However, he had insulted this person, struck that person, and seized the wealth of another, on account of which his good deeds will be taken from him. Then, if his good deeds are exhausted, the sins of those whom he wronged will be taken from them and foisted upon him and then he will be cast into the Fire." [ Sahîh Muslim (2581)]
3. A beneficial remedy that can help us to rid ourselves of this evil habit is to reflect upon our own shortcomings and work to improve ourselves. If we preoccupy ourselves with our own faults, we will not find time to worry about the faults of others. We should fear that if we speak about someone else's shortcomings, that Allah might punish us by afflicting us with the same.
Al-Hasan al-Basrî said: "We used to remind one another that whoever faults his brother on account of a sin and he had repented for it will be punished by Allah by falling into it himself."
Abû Hurayrah said: "One of you sees the dust in his brother's eye but fails to see the crud in his own."
4. Keeping to the company of righteous people and avoiding bad company helps us to avoid backbiting.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said: "The likeness of a good companion and a bad companion is that of a person carrying musk and another who works the bellows. The person carrying musk might give you some of it or at the very least you will enjoy the pleasant scent. The person with the bellows will either singe your clothing or at least make you suffer from the bad smell." [ Sahîh al-Bukhârî (2101) and Sahîh Muslim (2628) and the wording is that of Muslim]
Al-Nawawî writes, commenting on this hadîth: "It discusses the virtues of keeping the company of the righteous and people who carry out good works and possess good manners… It prohibits us from the company of people who engage in bad deeds and innovations, those who backbite others, and those who are habitually sinful and idle."
5. A person who has a habit of backbiting others needs to make a firm and determined resolution to stop.
We can look at the example of Rasûl b. Wahb who said: "I swore an oath that for every time I backbite someone, I would fast a day. This just wore me out, since I would backbite and fast. Then I resolved that for every time I backbite someone, I would spend one silver coin in charity. Then, for the love of money, I gave up backbiting."
There is good in Every Event
EVERY event that happens to the Muslim has one sort or another aspect of goodness in it. Allah states that even events that seem to be unfavorable may have a lot of good in them: " ... It may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of good." (Surah 4:19).
Aware of this secret, believers seek goodness and beauty in every event. No seemingly adverse incident, hardship, or mischief ails or worries them. They maintain their composure, whether the experience is insignificant or a serious ordeal. Sincere Muslims even see goodness and Divine purpose in the loss of all their hard earned possessions. They express gratitude to Allah for the gift of life. They have faith that Allah may have protected them from committing an evil act or against too much attachment for possessions.
Accordingly, believers give their most inner thanks to Him because no loss in this world equals the loss in the Hereafter. Loss in the Hereafter means eternal and intolerable punishment (unless Allah wills otherwise). Those who keep themselves occupied with the remembrance of the Hereafter view every event as goodness and beauty leading to the Hereafter.
Those who overcome such ordeals will recognize their weaknesses before Allah and will reconsider how much they are in need of Him. They will turn to Allah with much humility through prayers and remembrance that will bring them closer to Him. This is surely an enormous benefit to one in the Hereafter. These aside, by putting absolute trust in Allah and showing steadfastness, they will earn His pleasure and will be rewarded with eternal bliss.
People should seek goodness and beauty not only in ordeals, but also in daily routines. For example, burning the food one has painstakingly prepared may lead one to take numerous measures that would, by the will of Allah, prevent a more serious accident in the future. A young person might fail the college admission test on which all hopes for the future had been pinned.
People should, however, know that there is goodness in their failure, too; they should be able to think that Allah might have willed them to avoid some adverse circumstances or people and thereby feel pleased with the result. Alternatively, by thinking that Allah has placed in every event many other blessings that are either obvious or beyond the imagination, believers see the beauty of full submission to the guidance of Allah.
People may not always see the goodness and divine purpose behind every incident. Even if this be the case, they know for certain that there is goodness in all events. They offer prayers to Allah to discover the goodness and divine purpose hidden behind everything that happens.
Those who are aware that everything has a purpose in Allah's creation never use phrases such as "I wish I had not done this" or "I wish I had not said that" and so on. Mistakes, defects, or seemingly unfortunate events essentially include blessings, and each one of them is the trial of destiny. Allah gives important lessons and reminders to humans in the destiny He decrees individually for each person.
For those who can evaluate with insight, there are no mistakes or adversities, but rather lessons, warnings, and wisdom from Allah. For example, a Muslim whose shop burns down will search his or her soul, and will become even more sincere and true in his or her faith, deeming it as a warning by Allah against over-indulgence in worldly goods and attachments.
Consequently, no matter what one encounters in this life, the ordeals will all eventually end. A person who recalls a hardship will be amazed that it is nothing more than reminiscence in the mind. This is also how people recall the scenes from a film. Accordingly, one day will come and the most painful experience will become only a memory, more like the image of a scene from a movie. Only one thing will remain — the attitude a person assumed during the time of hardship and whether Allah is pleased with him or her.
People will not be called to account for their experiences, but rather for their attitudes, thoughts, and sincerity they displayed at the time of these experiences.
Therefore, endeavoring to see the goodness and the divine purpose Allah creates in the situations encountered and taking a positive attitude will bring bliss to believers both in this world and in the Hereafter. No sorrow or fear awaits these believers who are aware of this secret. Similarly, no one, no event can create fear, harm, or distress in this world or in the Hereafter. Allah reveals this secret in the Qur'an: "And whoever follows My Guidance, there shall be no fear on them, nor shall they grieve." (Surah 2:38)
Humbleness:
a distinguished character of the Muslims
Humbleness is to know the value of oneself, to avoid pride, or disregarding the truth and underestimating people. As the Prophet Muhammad (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) said, according to Sahih Muslim and others, "Kibr (arrogance) is rejecting the truth and looking down upon people." (Muslim, Tirmizi and Abu Dawood). Humbleness is for one who is important and significant and he fears to gain notoriety or to become too great among people. As it was said, "Humble yourself, you will be as a glimmering star to the viewer on the surface of the water even if it is lofty." We don't say to an ordinary person, "Humble yourself." But it is said to him, "Know the value of yourself, and do not place it in the wrong place!"
It was narrated by Khattabi in 'Uzlah' that Imaam Abdullah bin Mubarak (Rahmatullah alaihe) came to Khurasan [in Persia] and went to a person who was known for his zuhd and wara' [asceticism and cautiousness in piety].
So when he entered where the man was, he (the man) did not turn around nor give him any consideration at all.
When Abdullah bin Mubarak left, some of the people who were inside with the man said to him, "Don't you know who that was?" He said, "No." He was told, "This is the Amir of the believers...this is... this is... this is... Abdullah bin Mubarak."
So the man was astonished and came out to Ibn al-Mubarak in a hurry apologising and absolving himself from what happened, saying, "O Abu Abdur Rahman! Forgive me and advise me!" Ibn al-Mubaarak said, "Yes... whenever you come out of your house and see someone, assume that he is better than you!" He knew that the man was conceited.
When Ibn al-Mubarak inquired as to what the man's profession was, he found out that he was a weaver! [See comments of Zahabi in Al-Mizaan concerning Waasil bin `Ata].
Therefore, this educated Imam noticed that this mutazahid (devoted pious person) possessed a kind of arrogance, conceitedness and feeling of superiority over others.
This disease sometimes envelops pious people; this is why he offered advice that was easy for him.
Many times we find this characteristic in some of the pious people, as well as some of the preachers of religion. But when it reaches the small students who misbehave with their mentors, scholars and teachers this really hurts inside!
There is no objection if you differ in opinion or judgement with a scholar or a preacher as long as you are qualified to do so.
The problem occurs when this difference of opinion becomes a destructive element to the scholar's dignity, diminishes his value, disregards and disrespects him.
This may be expected from the common people, or from the people of innovation and misguidance, but it is not allowed in any circumstance for Ahl As-Sunnah Wal-Jama`ah and from the students of knowledge of
If they are disappointed by the closest people to them, then they are not expected to react in the same manner. Therefore, one of them is like a brave knight who is only supported by women.
That is, if the Ahl As-Sunnah Wal-Jama`ah protected their scholars' honour, and knew their value, and encircled them, they could have carried the duty of calling for that which is good and forbidding the forbidden in the correct way.
But when a scholar is disappointed from among his own circles, he can't say anything. How sad it is that some people of innovation on the contrary reached the point that they even grant their teachers and mentors some kind of sanctity, and follow them blindly.
This is in reality a kind of slavery and dissolution of the follower into the followed. This is the practice of the Batiniyya groups through the ages, in such a manner that it conditions its individuals to give a certain degree of al-`isma (protection from error) to their leaders.
Even the Mu`tazila -- the ones who practice 'rationalism' and almost have no place for emotions -- one of their poets said about their Shaikh Waasil bin Ata, "He has, behind the sea of China to it's farthest parts, and in every place behind the barbarians, men, whose leader is not weakened by the irony of a tyrant... nor by the plot of a deceiver ... They are the people of Allah's religion in every place, and the lords of its fatawa and the science of dispute."
And the people of the Sunnah are worthier of evaluation and respect of their scholars.
There is no good in a nation where the young do not respect the older, and the older do not have mercy on the younger. It is from the humbleness, from knowing the self value that the young beginner should not look at himself as a rival to this or that scholar, and say, "They are men... and we are men"!
As a matter of fact, manhood differs, that is, the description of manhood in the Noble Qur'aan was addressed in a form of glorification in many places: "...in it are men who love that they should be purified..." (Surah Tawba: 108)
And: "In houses which Allah has ordered to be raised, and that His name may be remembered therein; they glorify Him in the mornings and the evenings. Men whom neither merchandise nor trade divert from the remembrance of Allah and keeping to prayer and giving zakat. They fear a day in which the hearts and eyes will [fearfully] turn about..." (Qur'aan, Surah Nur: 36-37)
Manhood also refers only to masculinity in other places: "And that men from among people used to seek refuge with men from among jinn..." (Qur'aan, Surah Jinn: 6)
Therefore, men are not all the same.
Humbleness is that one should humble himself with his companions.
Frequently, when the spirit of competition and envy is agitated between companions and rivals, a person may feel superior over his companion, he may be pleased by harming him, degrading his value and importance, accusing him of defects or exaggerating his faults.
Faults that may have come to light when seeking advice or correction. In reality, this is what is called jealousy.
It is amazing that the preachers sometimes become jealous about the gathering of a thousand or two at a meeting of knowledge or religion, but he will not have any kind of reaction if he heard that twenty of thirty thousand people attended a concert or a sports event.
By Allah, this is sad, for even if you were not pleased with your brother about something, it should be sufficient for you that he is calling to Allah Almighty and teaching people the religion and is sincere in general. In fact, he may even be correct in some of the things that you criticised him about.
Humbleness is to humble oneself to one who is below you. If you find someone who is younger than you, or of less importance than you, you should not despise him, because he might have a better heart than you, or be less sinful, or closer to Allah than you.
Even if you see a sinful person and you are righteous, do not act in arrogance towards him, and thank Allah that He saved you from the tribulation that He put him through.
Remember that there might be some riyaa (doing something to please someone other than Allah or a sentiment of one to be happy when some other persons knows about his virtues) in your deeds.
And there might be vanity in your righteous deeds that may cause them to be of no avail, and that this sinful person may be regretful and fearful concerning his bad deeds, and this maybe the cause of forgiveness of his sins.
According to Jundub (Radhi Allaho anho), the Messenger of Allah mentioned that a man said, "By Allah, Allah will not forgive so and so," and that Allah Almighty said, "Who is swearing by Me that I will not forgive so and so? I surely have forgiven so and so and nullified your deed." (Muslim)
Therefore, do not act in arrogance towards anyone. Even when you see a sinner, do not act superior towards him, nor treat him with arrogance and domination.
If you feel that the sinner may perform some acts of obedience which you do not, and that you may also posses some defects which the sinner may not, then deal kindly with him, and gently give da`wah, which will hopefully be the cause of his acceptance and remembrance.
Humbleness is that your deed should not become too great in your eyes.
If you do a good deed, or attempt to get closer to Allah Almighty through an act of obedience, your deed still may not be accepted:
"Allah only accepts from those who have taqwa (piety)." (Surah Maidah: 27).
This is why some of the predecessors said, "If I knew that Allah accepted one tasbeeh from me, I would have wished to die right now!"
Humbleness is that, when you are advised, if Satan calls you to reject the advice, you must negate him. Because the purpose of advice is that your brother points out the defects that you have.
As for he whom Allah Almighty has protected, if he finds one who will advise him and show him his defects, he'll overcome his nafs (inner self), accept from him, thank him, and pray for him.
This is why Prophet Muhammad (Sall Allaho alaihe wasallam) said, "Kibr (arrogance) is rejecting the truth and despising the people." (Muslim, Tirmizi, and Abu Dawood)
The arrogant never gives credit to anybody or mentions good about someone, and if he needed to do so, he would also mention the defects of that person.
But if he hears somebody reminding him about his own defects, he will not be flexible nor comply due to his inferiority complex.
This is why it is among man's moral integrity to accept criticism or comment without any sensitivity or discomfort or feelings of shame and weakness.
Here he is, the Amir of the Believers, Umar (Radhi Allaho anho), raising the flag and lifting the motto:
"May Allah have mercy on a person who informed us of our defects."
SABR
-an essential element in fulfilling our ubudiyyah to Allah (swt)
- Rasulullah (saws) said: Sabr is a source of light
- In the Quran it says: [And practice sabr, for you are under Our gaze] One of the early ulamah used to carry a parchment with this ayah on it in his pocket, and he looked at it constantly.
- Sabr is human; animals know nothing more than their basic needs and instincts, all they can do is react; humans have been endowed with reason which balances instinct. We go from wanting food as baby, play as a child, zinnah in adolescence, until we reach puberty and are endowed with some reason.. but reason is not enough, it is not alone sufficient as guidance, the 'aql (intellect) needs 'naql (revealation) "Descartes said I think therefore I am, Ghazali before him said I will therefore I am, I say: I perform sabr, therefore I am human" This deen is the completeness of our maturity and our humanity.
So what is sabr?
The steadfastness of the religious call over the call to passion- if the deen overcomes the nafs, this is sabr
Sabr is an UPHILL BATTLE- when we're going downhill we're losing energy, when we're going uphill we're gaining potential energy. In sabr, we are gaining "spiritual potential energy".
There are 2 kinds of sabr (or two ways we can perform sabr):
1) when something we desire happens to us, something we like, we exhibit sabr in controlling our selves, not going into excess, not transgressing the bounds set down for us by Allah(swt)
Abdur Rahmad ibn Auf said: We were tried by hard times and we showed sabr, but when we were tried in ease and excess, we failed.
Hadeeth: I do not fear for you poverty; I fear for you plentifulness of dunyaa, and it will destroy you as it had destroyed nations before you.
Quran: O you who believe, do not let your families and your wealth draw you away from the dhikr of Allah; and whosoever does that is indeed the loser.
2) Sabr in what we dislike. In 3 areas of life:
a.) sabru ala ta'aat: in obeying Allah (swt). sabr against our nafs who dislikes it, whether in spirituality or mundane, sabr before, during and after the act of obedience.
b.) sabru anil ma'asee: to show sabr against disobedience to Allah (swt). We are attracted to do injustice to others thinking we are doing justice to ourselves. We live in an environment that is dangerously attractive, we need to have patience, constancy, steadfastness = sabr.
c.) sabr andil ma'asid: to show sabr in times of calamity, adveristy, pain, whether physical or emotional. Everything that is in the capacity of an individual to change, he should- but have sabr in what you cannot. Not reciprocating harm is sabr.
Hadeeth: whenever a museebah (hardship) befalls you (and you show sabr) Allah (swt) atones for you some of your sins
Hadeeth: Allah (swt) atones some of our sins not only by physical endurance but by emotional ones as well
Sa'ad ibn Abi Waqqas (ra) asked the Prophet (saws) "Ya Rasulullah, who amongst people are the most tried (subject to hardships)?" Rasulullah (saws) said: The Anbiyyah (messengers of Allah) and after them the Salihoon (righteous) and then in accordance to your eman, taqwaah etc, there will be more hardships, not less. Every mu'min will be tried by difficulties in accordance (proportion) to their deen. If in this person's deen is solidity (their deen is deeply rooted) the balaa' will increase, to purify, cleanse, strenghten, elevate the person. And if in the deen in this person there is riqaa (weakness, thinness), then that persons balaa will be weakened, until the person walks on the earth cleansed of sins until they meet Allah.
What are the adaab of sabr?
1- once the calamity befalls us, we must show sabr immediately without delay.
A woman was in the cemetary, crying, mourning her love, when Rasulullah (saws) said to her "show sabr". She said, not knowing who he was "thats easy for you to say, you have not lost a loved one". When the companions told her who he was, she asked for forgiveness and rasulullah (saws) said: Sabr is to be shown at the beginning of hardship.
2- al-itirjaa': to say immediately, sincerely, from the heart: "Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhee raji'uun" -Verily from Allah we come and to Him we return
3- the tongue and the senses do not act violently - use them correctly, don't get caught up in the pain of the moment
4- Hussnul sabr- sabrun jameel- the highest level, the most beautiful sabr
Sabr can be categorized into 3 levels:
1- Tarkus sabraa: the lowest level- when one does not complain but inside dislikes what's happening to them
2- Ar-ridhaa-bil-beelah: no complaint, to show satisfaction with the balaa (hardship), because they have yaqeen (certainty) that Allah only does to the 'abd what is best for them
3- Ash-shukr-alal-beelah: to have ridhaa (satisfaction) and to be grateful to Allah for the hardship because that person has yaqeen that this is to elevate his spiritual status- looks at the consequence, not the immediate event we are taught sabrun jameel in the story of yaqub and yusuf (as)
Ali (ra) said: Of the realization of the Majesty of Allah, and of knowledge of the right Allah (swt) has on His creation, is that when one is befallen with a calamity, one does not complain, does not even mention what has befallen him.
An 'abd should feel ashamed to describe the pain, we are complaining about the Creator to the creation?
ibn Qays (a tabi') said: I lost my eyesite 40 years ago, I have never told anyone.
an ulumah (didn't get the name): "Whosoever complains about a calamity that has befallen him to other than Allah, such an individual would never find the sweetness of ta'aa (obedience to Allah (swt)) in the heart"
How to attain sabr?
The cure to any disease of the heart (arrogance, anger, lack of hayaa)
1- ILM: brings desire and want to change, use the ilm the teacher conveys to you! brings about hazm- energy, resolve to change
2- AMAL: take it into everyday life, in your actions Qat'al asbaab- severing the ways and avenues to bad deeds. example: lowering the gaze for zinnah. for every haraam avenue, there is a halaal alternative.
No pain, no gain- condition your nafs and your qalb, or they will condition you
Work hard on uprooting the weeds of passion, disobedience and sin. Sow the seeds in your heart of the will to change and sincerity. Let the rain be the mercy and forgiveness of Allah purifying the land, our hearts.
The best door from which we can enter the majesty of Allah, is humility.
1- Always be conscious in our hearts and minds of Allah's nimaah
2- Always be conscious of our weaknesses, the sins we have committed. Have faqar- the opposite of pride, self-reliance, self-interest.
Qur'an: "InnaAllah ma'as sabireen: Verily Allah is WITH those who have sabr."
Ya Allah, make us of those who have sabr, and grant us Your mercy and Your forgiveness.
Ameen.
What’s Wrong With A Lustful Gaze
Many of us who are used to watching The Bachelor, SINbad or
“The unrestrained glance is one of the poisoned arrows of Shaytan"
Therefore, a secret lustful look at a person of opposite gender has been compared by the Prophet to an arrow from Shaytan that:
• It poisons our hearts (what exactly do you gain out if it apart from the momentary thrill of having sinned? Is there anything worse than enjoying what Allah hates?)
• It ruins our intentions (am I doing it for Allah or to check out the crowd?)
• It gives rise to false hopes and desires ("I wish I could...", "Maybe she'll...", "I think he does..." when you know you can't, she won't, and he doesn't!)
• It distorts our perception of 'reality' (love is not 'at first sight' but lust is, a wife is not picked up off streets, real men don't have to flirt to be noticed, and there is nothing 'casual' about sex)
• It deprives us from enjoying and concentrating in Prayers (it's very hard to remember Allah while replaying last night's activities in one's head)
• It gives rise to constant feeling of guilt and depression (have you ever actually felt better about yourself after you did it than before?)
• It sometimes leads to sleepless nights (when fantasies seem so 'real'...)
• It renders our heart weak for continuous Shaytanic attacks (through addictions to music, fashion, self-image, explicit sights and sounds, etc)
• It promotes hypocrisy (does the 'shell' match the 'core'?)
• It eventually leads to Zina (unlawful intimacy: the darkness that draws one deeper and deeper until one is incapable of escaping even if willing, except he/she who Allah guides)
• Above all, it diminishes our love for and fear of Allah (you wouldn't be doing it if you thought about how Great and Loving the One you are turning away from, instead if how 'small' or 'innocent' your sin)
Allah commands us: "Say to the believing men that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts; that will make for greater purity for them..." [24:30]. In the verse following this one, Allah commands “the believing women” in the similar manner.
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